After watching a couple of episodes, I decided that if I have a daughter, I am going to have her sign a legally binding contract that says if we got all out for her sweet sixteen, we, as her parents, are under no obligation to help pay for her wedding if/when she ever gets married.

Like a dummy, she’ll sign it.

And then when she’s in love and 25 and they announce that they are getting married, I’M just gonna go to my room and pull out this laminated document. Hand her a photocopy and say “Don’t forget to send me an invite.”