Don’t Cross The Streams

First off, no, you didn’t miss anything.  I’m not in a relationship nor do I think I’m ready to rejoin the pack so to speak.

I was listening to my iPod on the subway, trying to think of something for my Consolation Prizes project and was drawing a blank.  Then I remembered a conversation i had with my friend Tabitha about what kind of guy I was like when I had a girlfriend and how I gave her hope that there would guys out there.  So then I decided to tried to tap into that version of myself (Sean 3.0) and see if I could put together this list.

This isn’t a cry to get back together with any of my ex-girlfriends but I should thank them for being such great girlfriends that I was able to put together this list.

Also, on a downer note, a lot of you long term relationshippers are no longer experiencing the things on this list so I guess the title of this list for you is “50-80 Things I Miss About My Relationship” ^[1]

On to the main event:

1. First time that you meet
2. First time that you call/get called
3. First date
4. Finding something in common during conversation to build off
5. First semi-awkward kiss
6. First post-date/kiss phone call/text
7. First time you have sex
8. First time you have GREAT sex
9. First time you have a double/tripleheader
10. Post-coital conversations
11. When you decide that you are in a monogamous relationship
12. Telling your close friends about this new person
13. When they are the last person you want to talk to before you go to bed
14. Falling asleep on the phone with them not because you are bored with them but because, at the time, being tired doesn’t feel like a good enough reason to get off of the phone
15. The first time you share “I love yous”
16. The conversation down the road about who said it first
17. When you’re together at a party or large gathering, get separated and make eye contact across the room
18. The period of time when seeing them makes your heart beat a little faster or get butterflies in your stomach
19. Receiving a gift from them that you are totally surprised by because you never said you wanted it and it shows that they actually pay attention to you
20. Buying a gift like #19 and seeing their face when they open it
21. Spooning
22. Seeing them naked for the first time in a sexual way
23. Seeing them naked for the first time in a casual way ^[2]
24. Traveling together
25. Inside jokes
26. Sharing something that you are really passionate about that they don’t know anything about yet embrace it
27. When they still want to do something you are passionate about but they could give two shits about because it is important to you
28. Making a mixtape for them
29. The first time they grab your hand to hold it ^[3]
30. P.D.A.
31. Coming up behind them and putting your arms their waist
32. When you’re sick and they take care of you
33. When they are having a bad day and they don’t want to talk about it, they just want a hug
34. Needing a hug and knowing one is waiting for you
35. Your first stupid fight
36. The first time they apologize to you sincerely and not just to end the argument ^[4]
37. Makeup sex
38. Cuddling when it’s cold
39. Taking silly pictures together
40. When they tell you a certain quality that you possess that they love that you didn’t realize you actually possessed
41. Noticing something about them they haven’t noticed about themselves making that something “yours” in a weird way
42. Discovering a new favorite thing (restaurant, movie, TV show, etc.) together
43. When a song makes you think about them
44. When you have a song as a couple^[5]
45. Being physically apart long enough to remember what it’s like to miss them
46. Anniversaries
47. Shared holidays
48. Getting a massage from them when you really had a bad day
49. Getting drunk together
50. Drunk, sloppy sex
51. Laughing during sex
52. Making them feel better just by being there
53. Resting your head on their shoulder, chest or lap
54. When they make you change something about yourself that needed changing
55. When they encourage you to do something positive in your life that you probably wouldn’t have done without their emotional support
56. Receiving a thoughtful/sweet note in a card^[6]
57. Being inspired to write a thoughtful/sweet note in a card
58. Spending the whole day e-mailing/IM-ing back and forth at work
59. Spending the night together in a hotel room
60. Spending a lazy Saturday/Sunday in bed together
61. When their parents/close friends doesn’t necessarily hate you
62. The first time they fart in front of you and are forced to admit it
63. Being in a loud gathering and having them whisper something sweet in your ear
64. When they make you feel more attractive then you really feel
65. Doing something spontaneous together
66. Having a “plus one” for a wedding
67. Jealousy^[7]
68. Sending flowers^[8]
69. Cute nicknames
70. Going to the movies together and holding hands^[9]
71. Their laugh^[10]
72. When they put their bent pointer finger on the bottom of your chin to raise your head and plant one kiss or, if they are the shorter one, when they put their hand on the back of your head and pull you in for a kiss
73. Getting turned on by them for some random thing they do that they don’t realize they are doing
74. Waking up face to face and smiling^[11]
75. Finding one of their hairs on your sweater
76. Making out after you realized it’s been a long time since you just made out
77. When they do something special for your birthday
78. Going through your dresser and finding old notes/cards that they sent you
79. Dancing together (or trying to)
80. Making fun of other people together
81. Walking around together
82. Seeing old pictures of them
83. Being able to identify their scent and then getting so used to it, you don’t notice it anymore
84. Getting used to one of their more annoying qualities
85. Seeing them in a “WOW” outfit
86. Watching TV together
87. Being genuinely surprised how much you love them
88. Being genuinely surprised how much they love you
89. A kiss goodnight
90. A kiss good morning
91. A greeting kiss when you meet up somewhere
92. Your first real relationship-threatening but ultimately relationship-affirming fight
93. Meeting up just to hang out somewhere different
94. When you realize they are your best friend
95. When you catch them looking at you and smiling
96. When you think to yourself, “I can’t believe we’re together”^[12]
97. When they find your “spot” and casually exploit it
98. When you tell them a story about something that’s really bothering you and they laugh and you don’t think it’s funny at all but you realize how silly you sound and you laugh too
99. When you try something new together
100. When you are sitting on the couch in silence, not saying anything, not doing anything particularly interesting and you think to yourself, “This is nice.”

Did I miss any of your favorites?  Then make your own list.

Me? I’m going back to the domain of the singles.

———————-
^^[1] It could also be titled “100 Reasons Why Your Friends Hate Hanging Out With You Two”
^^[2] Like they are getting ready for work or something
^^[3] Locking fingers
^^[4] Does this mean I’m petty?
^^[5] …which will invariably be ruined if you two breakup
^^[6] Since people don’t mail letters anymore
^^[7] Cute jealousy like “I saw you looking at her/him” not psycho, obsessive, I-don’t-trust-you jealousy
^^[8] We really need a male equivalent of flowers
^^[9] Especially if it’s a movie you both want to see and/or a romantic movie
^^[10] Which is probably annoying to everyone else but you don’t care
^^[11] Before someone talks and ruins it with morning breath
^^[12] In a good kinda way not in a “what-the-fuck-am-I-doing-with-my-life” kinda way)