Posts Tagged ‘100 Things’
November 3, 2008
First off, no, you didn’t miss anything. I’m not in a relationship nor do I think I’m ready to rejoin the pack so to speak.
I was listening to my iPod on the subway, trying to think of something for my Consolation Prizes project and was drawing a blank. Then I remembered a conversation i had with my friend Tabitha about what kind of guy I was like when I had a girlfriend and how I gave her hope that there would guys out there. So then I decided to tried to tap into that version of myself (Sean 3.0) and see if I could put together this list.
This isn’t a cry to get back together with any of my ex-girlfriends but I should thank them for being such great girlfriends that I was able to put together this list.
Also, on a downer note, a lot of you long term relationshippers are no longer experiencing the things on this list so I guess the title of this list for you is “50-80 Things I Miss About My Relationship” [1]
On to the main event:
- First time that you meet
- First time that you call/get called
- First date
- Finding something in common during conversation to build off
- First semi-awkward kiss
- First post-date/kiss phone call/text
- First time you have sex
- First time you have GREAT sex
- First time you have a double/tripleheader
- Post-coital conversations
- When you decide that you are in a monogamous relationship
- Telling your close friends about this new person
- When they are the last person you want to talk to before you go to bed
- Falling asleep on the phone with them not because you are bored with them but because, at the time, being tired doesn’t feel like a good enough reason to get off of the phone
- The first time you share “I love yous”
- The conversation down the road about who said it first
- When you’re together at a party or large gathering, get separated and make eye contact across the room
- The period of time when seeing them makes your heart beat a little faster or get butterflies in your stomach
- Receiving a gift from them that you are totally surprised by because you never said you wanted it and it shows that they actually pay attention to you
- Buying a gift like #19 and seeing their face when they open it
- Spooning
- Seeing them naked for the first time in a sexual way
- Seeing them naked for the first time in a casual way [2]
- Traveling together
- Inside jokes
- Sharing something that you are really passionate about that they don’t know anything about yet embrace it
- When they still want to do something you are passionate about but they could give two shits about because it is important to you
- Making a mixtape for them
- The first time they grab your hand to hold it [3]
- P.D.A.
- Coming up behind them and putting your arms their waist
- When you’re sick and they take care of you
- When they are having a bad day and they don’t want to talk about it, they just want a hug
- Needing a hug and knowing one is waiting for you
- Your first stupid fight
- The first time they apologize to you sincerely and not just to end the argument [4]
- Makeup sex
- Cuddling when it’s cold
- Taking silly pictures together
- When they tell you a certain quality that you possess that they love that you didn’t realize you actually possessed
- Noticing something about them they haven’t noticed about themselves making that something “yours” in a weird way
- Discovering a new favorite thing (restaurant, movie, TV show, etc.) together
- When a song makes you think about them
- When you have a song as a couple[5]
- Being physically apart long enough to remember what it’s like to miss them
- Anniversaries
- Shared holidays
- Getting a massage from them when you really had a bad day
- Getting drunk together
- Drunk, sloppy sex
- Laughing during sex
- Making them feel better just by being there
- Resting your head on their shoulder, chest or lap
- When they make you change something about yourself that needed changing
- When they encourage you to do something positive in your life that you probably wouldn’t have done without their emotional support
- Receiving a thoughtful/sweet note in a card[6]
- Being inspired to write a thoughtful/sweet note in a card
- Spending the whole day e-mailing/IM-ing back and forth at work
- Spending the night together in a hotel room
- Spending a lazy Saturday/Sunday in bed together
- When their parents/close friends doesn’t necessarily hate you
- The first time they fart in front of you and are forced to admit it
- Being in a loud gathering and having them whisper something sweet in your ear
- When they make you feel more attractive then you really feel
- Doing something spontaneous together
- Having a “plus one” for a wedding
- Jealousy[7]
- Sending flowers[8]
- Cute nicknames
- Going to the movies together and holding hands[9]
- Their laugh[10]
- When they put their bent pointer finger on the bottom of your chin to raise your head and plant one kiss or, if they are the shorter one, when they put their hand on the back of your head and pull you in for a kiss
- Getting turned on by them for some random thing they do that they don’t realize they are doing
- Waking up face to face and smiling[11]
- Finding one of their hairs on your sweater
- Making out after you realized it’s been a long time since you just made out
- When they do something special for your birthday
- Going through your dresser and finding old notes/cards that they sent you
- Dancing together (or trying to)
- Making fun of other people together
- Walking around together
- Seeing old pictures of them
- Being able to identify their scent and then getting so used to it, you don’t notice it anymore
- Getting used to one of their more annoying qualities
- Seeing them in a “WOW” outfit
- Watching TV together
- Being genuinely surprised how much you love them
- Being genuinely surprised how much they love you
- A kiss goodnight
- A kiss good morning
- A greeting kiss when you meet up somewhere
- Your first real relationship-threatening but ultimately relationship-affirming fight
- Meeting up just to hang out somewhere different
- When you realize they are your best friend
- When you catch them looking at you and smiling
- When you think to yourself, “I can’t believe we’re together”[12]
- When they find your “spot” and casually exploit it
- When you tell them a story about something that’s really bothering you and they laugh and you don’t think it’s funny at all but you realize how silly you sound and you laugh too
- When you try something new together
- When you are sitting on the couch in silence, not saying anything, not doing anything particularly interesting and you think to yourself, “This is nice.”
Did I miss any of your favorites? Then make your own list.
Me? I’m going back to the domain of the singles.
———————-
^[1] It could also be titled “100 Reasons Why Your Friends Hate Hanging Out With You Two”
^[2] Like they are getting ready for work or something
^[3] Locking fingers
^[4] Does this mean I’m petty?
^[5] …which will invariably be ruined if you two breakup
^[6] Since people don’t mail letters anymore
^[7] Cute jealousy like “I saw you looking at her/him” not psycho, obsessive, I-don’t-trust-you jealousy
^[8] We really need a male equivalent of flowers
^[9] Especially if it’s a movie you both want to see and/or a romantic movie
^[10] Which is probably annoying to everyone else but you don’t care
^[11] Before someone talks and ruins it with morning breath
^[12] In a good kinda way not in a “what-the-fuck-am-I-doing-with-my-life” kinda way)
Posted in 100 Things, Lists, Love & Relationships, Me... | Tagged Love & Relationships, Lists, 100 Things | 7 Comments »
September 7, 2008
Okay, this was supposed to be a straight list but then I overthought it and now you have what you see below. I tried to avoid listing any titles that are still ongoing (this list would never end). Anything with an asterisk is still going.
This list actually made me realize how many great graphic novels I haven’t read (Maus, From Hell, V For Vendetta).
Otherwise, enjoy and I hope you at least read one of these books.
Posted in 100 Things, Comic Books, Lists | Tagged 100 Things, Comic Books, Lists | 1 Comment »
July 1, 2008
In honor of yet another birthday, I’ve decided to take a crack at revealing 100 more random items about yours truly. Hopefully, I won’t repeat myself from my first two efforts (Parts 1 & 2). If I do, let me know and I’ll come up with a new one (Update: the ones in red are replacement facts):
- The last birthday party my parents threw was when I was 10 years old. My cousins all brought me fireworks for my birthday, which I wasn’t allowed to light. Dicks
- The first DVD I bought was Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
- I can’t help but cry through Björk’s screaming and crying towards the end of Dancer in the Dark
- I’ve only had one non-funeral related trip to Jamaica
- I didn’t miss a day of school until 8th grade.
- In nursery school, the teachers had made each of us little trucks made out of construction paper with our names written on it. Mine had “Shawn” instead of “Sean” written on it. I cried beyond the point of consolation
- Whenever I knew I was going to get spanked after parent/teacher conferences, I had two strategies: a) stay in my mother’s room watching soap hiding under her protection or b) getting under the covers and using my comforter as cover while pretending to get hit
- My brother and I figured out every hiding spot for our Christmas presents. It got so bad that we were playing with our new toys during the day and would put them back before my parents got home from work. It kinda took the fun out of Christmas in hindsight
- I was a latchkey kid from 4th grade on
- My favorite baseball player growing up was Don Mattingly
- Things I used to have posters of in my room: John Starks Dunk over Micheal Jordan (a.k.a. “The Dunk”), The Punisher, Wolverine, Spider-Man, Sade (taken from my brother), 1996 World Series Champion New York Yankees
- I was in the National Honor Society in high school…barely
- How I knew Girlfriend #1 and I were done. Before she went away for the summer, I went with her and her family while she bought shit and got her hair done. While she was in the chair, I gave her my Casio organizer because she wanted to write me a little note that I wasn’t supposed to read until she left. Of course, I read it as soon as I got home and it was innocent enough. I later noticed she deleted all the anniversary reminders from the month she left until the end of the year (I was a weirdo and had all the monthly anniversaries up to a full year). Ruined my whole summer. We “broke up” after she got back
- To this day, I’ve never asked her about it
- The name “Melanism” came from a band I saw in NYU called “Melanin 2000″
- I’m a Democrat
- I still haven’t had a check-up or physical
- For almost six months, I would meet friends in front of the Wetlands on Tuesday night, drive to Philadelphia for Black Lily, leave around 1-1:30 AM, drop everyone off and then go to work the next day
- In high school, I let three kids copy off me for the Chemistry Regents exam. I had a 95% going into the test. I was in the front and everyone behind me passed my answers back. I got a 70%. The kid directly behind me got a 66%. The rest failed and had to go to summer school. Oops
- My first official date with Girlfriend #2 was a double date with her younger sister and her boyfriend to go see Kids.
- I thought Mister Rogers was creepy
- The reason I’m such an early bird: my father kept all his suits for work in my closet and he would come into my room at 5:45 AM to get dressed every morning. He wasn’t exactly ninja-like plus the closet door got stuck alot so you had to pull really hard to open and made a loud noise when it did open. A few years of this and waking up at 6 AM was the norm
- I have a name I want to name a girl if I ever have a daughter but at this rate, it might end up being the name of one of the future pets-as-a-supplement-for-human-relationships I get (regardless, I’m not telling)
- I was kinda disappointed when I met someone with that name (middle name though)
- The motivating factor behind any career achievement at my current place of employment is: “How far can I get in this place without having to take the writing test?”
- The original point of this blog (actually my blog predates the term “blog”) was to share my opinion about movies without having to repeat myself. Not much has changed
- I slept with a night light a lot longer than I’m willing to admit on this list
- I used to eat Luden’s Wild Cherry Throat Drops like they were Skittles. I had a serious addiction to them in high school
- I’ve been wearing glasses since Kindergarten
- I’m still paying off my student loans
- I think I’ve said ‘I love you’ first in all my relationships (GFs 1-3: please feel free to refute)
- My middle name is “Andre” (Hey, some people don’t know that)
- I hate people who get on the subway before most of the people on the car get out
- I’ve only had to go to the hospital twice: 1) Stomach pains from eating too many greasy foods in one day when I was in grade school and 2) Severe sprained ankle from kickball last year
- I have a small birthmark on my right tricep. I think it looks like a dog or a rabbit
- I prefer being cold over being hot because you can dress for being too cold
- Every stage of my life, I have a new person I consider my “best friend” (the feeling isn’t always mutual)
- My father also ruined cereal for me. As mentioned in #22, my father used to get dressed at 5:45 AM and leave at 6:05 AM. He would fix me a bowl of Frosted Flakes cereal before he left and by the time I got downstairs, it was really soggy but my mother made me eat it. I didn’t have cereal again until I was in college
- Eric is my oldest friend as I’ve known him since first grade
- No one ever thinks I am as old as I actually am
- I have never been to a professional or college football game
- I can’t say that “I can’t cook” because I haven’t really tried
- I kinda suck at Guitar Hero-related games despite the fact that I own a number of them
- I don’t like having company because then no one knows how messy my apartment really is
- The only class I ever got an F in was Religion. My mother laughed when I showed her. Her response (paraphrased): “What’s there to fail: God. Jesus. Holy Spirit?”
- I can’t sing but this does fact does not keep me away from karaoke mics
- 8 times out of 10, I will arrive early to any party or gathering unless I’m coming from another party (which I probably arrived early to)
- I think the reason I eat and drink so fast was that was the only way to escape the dinner table and inquiries about homework (that I wasn’t doing) when I was growing up
- I can listen to sad music all day long
- Despite being an A/B+ student for my entire grade school life, it took me four and a half years to get Student of the Month at St. Brigid’s. When I asked why I hadn’t gotten it, a teacher told me I questioned my teachers too much during class
- My favorite video game of all time is Final Fantasy VII. I once spent 10-12 straight hours in college sitting in front of the TV playing that while my roommate/suitemates went out to class
- I used to have a huge crush on this girl in high school but she liked one of my best friends. I wanted him to ask her to the prom which he wouldn’t because I liked her. He wanted me to ask her which I didn’t because I knew she liked him. She ended up going to the prom with this d-bag who shared the limo with us making us both wish we had asked her
- I can’t function during the work day if I don’t have some sort of breakfast
- I try to eat dinner before 8 PM. I don’t know when that started
- I have little-to-no willpower when it comes to rejecting food (or booze)
- Open bars are my kryptonite
- I want to own or run a bar, lounge or diner. Not because I have any interest in any of these types of establishments. I just want to work at a place that I can listen (and make other people listen to) music I want to hear
- I think I spend at least $150 dollars on comic books a month
- If I spent as much money on clothes as I did DVDs and comics, I would be quite stylish
- I fooled around with Girlfriend #1 more after we broke up than when we were together
- As a child, I used to fluctuate between sleeping with the door open or close. The argument I made to myself was “Would I rather see whatever was coming down the hallway to get me or would I rather hear them open door and pretend to be asleep?” I think I settled on the latter
- When I went to see Monty Python’s Spamalot with some friends, imagine my surprise when i saw the girl who I went to NYU senior formal with and who ditched me for her friends afterwards on stage
- I drool in my sleep a little. A lot if I’m sick
- I never had an answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
- One day, two friends and I went on a shoplifting spree throughout Broadway Mall leaving with at least $200 worth of bounty
- I used to try and write hip-hop verses in high school. They were all laughably bad
- As much as I love them, no piece of art (TV, comics, movies, paintings, etc.) has ever changed my life
- I’m always afraid of missing the last step when I go down a long flight of stairs
- I get nervous when too many people pay attention to what I am doing
- I learned wrestling was fake a little later than I am willing to admit on this list
- 90% of my Facebook status messages are from books, movies or songs I just listened to at the time of posting
- I’m currently harboring 4-5 crushes. They range from “fleeting” to “mildly debilitating”
- The first R-rated movie I snuck into was Alien 3
- After I watched my brother’s tape of Private School, I started calling his friends “douchebag” whenever they called. I was probably 8 or 9 years old
- I’ve never come into a job drunk. Partially tipsy twice
- When I buy TV shows on DVD, it’s moreso to lend out to get additional people hooked on said TV show then for my own personal viewing pleasure
- Unless you bludgeon me over the head with it, I’m generally oblivious to people showing romantic interest in me
- I’m 5′9″
- I didn’t start drinking coffee until I started working here six years ago
- In college, my roommate, Pierre, and I watched The Tick on FOX Saturday morning cartoons religiously. No matter what we were doing or where we were, we were in front of the TV at 11 AM
- I’ve had a cell phone since I was 21
- I don’t use more than 25-35 talk minutes on my cell phone a month. When Lost or 24 is on, it goes up to an hour
- I used to hide the lunches my father made me that I didn’t want (he used to make me HAMBURGERS and put that in my lunch bag…WTF?) behind my bookcase. One day, I forgot and my mother found a rotten bag of food while she was cleaning my room
- The first time I puked as a toddler was in kindergarten. After eating one of those soggy bowls of cereal (#38), I got on the bus and the driver strapped us all in. I started to feel sick but couldn’t get free from seat beat. I puked all over myself. The bus driver was running late so let me ride the entire way covered in soggy Frosted Flakes vomit and cleaned me off when we got to school
- The first movies we got when my parents bought a VCR were Raiders of the Lost Ark and Purple Rain
- I learned how to dub movies when I was 12. I used to rent 3-4 movies a week from Blockbuster Video and make copies for my brother and his friends
- The last movie I saw at the Westbury Drive-In before they shut it down was There’s Something About Mary
- I’ve never been on a pre-relationship “date” (and by “date”, I mean asking a girl out to dinner or a movie with the intention of wooing her AND she knows it’s a date)
- My being single has more to do with my shyness than I lead people to believe
- My father used to academically compare me unfavorably to my classmates which made me want to try less
- I did better in the verbal section of my SAT and my GRE but both times my score was below 1,000. (I can’t remember the exact score for either)
- I have no problem having the same meal over and over again for lunch or dinner.
- I was in the General Studies Program for my freshman and sophomore years of NYU (for those of us who weren’t quite up the NYU standards)
- For many years of my grade school and high school years, I would never look at myself directly in the mirror for self-conscious-about-my appearance reasons. I would take off my glasses first or always look at myself from some sort of angle
- I prefer the right side of the bed
- I used to drink Welch’s grape soda all the time. Now I only drink Diet Coke or Coke Zero
- Anytime I do laundry on the weekend, 9 1/2 times out of 10, I will end up taking a nap for at least an hour. I can’t explain it
- I hate calling people in my office. I’d rather talk to them face to face. If that’s not possible, e-mail. The phone is a last resort
- It is understood amongst my family that at any holiday dinner (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.), I have first dibs on chicken and/or turkey legs. It has been tradition since I was a little kid
- I’m not that into big breasts
Now everyone knows 300 more things about me than I do about them…
Happy Birthday to me (on July 4th)!
* These aren’t really “facts” as much as tidbits or stories you didn’t know about me
Posted in 100 Things, Lists, Me... | Tagged 100 Things, Lists, Me... | 4 Comments »
April 15, 2008
Some goddamn point a man’s due to stop arguing with his-self and feeling twice the goddamn fool he knows he is ’cause he can’t be something he tries to be every goddamn day without once getting to dinnertime and fucking it up. I don’t want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? And I don’t want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?
- Wild Bill Hickok from Deadwood
These things are always on my mind but maybe if I write them down and publicly admit them, I’ll be more likely to do them…
- Learning how to cook from a recipe (as opposed to the microwave option I naturally gravitate towards)
- Learning another language
- Saving money like I’m going to have a long life
- Stop spending money like I’m going to have a short one
- Go to the doctor for a check-up for the first time a decade (to see if I can ignore #3 or #4)
- Go to the dentist (so it doesn’t hurt when I eat candy)
- Don’t watch so much TV (not that I have to stop watching my shows but during that time when I’m just flipping channels)
- Read more books
- Watch more documentaries
- Stop buying DVDs that I’m never going to watch more than once
- Stop buying video games that I’m not going to make time to play
- Make time to play the video games I have
- Stop spending so much money on comic books (if you only knew how much I spend in a month)
- Learn to do my job better (or get a new job)
- Pay off my credit cards before making any other major purchases
- Travel somewhere outside the U.S. that’s not England (although I do want to go back)
- Call my parents more
- Call other people more
- Answer my phone when people call and I’m watching TV (not like I couldn’t pause it)
- Spend less time aimlessly surfing the internet
- Spend less money on buying alcohol
- Don’t use going to the gym as an excuse to eat poorly
- Stop buying amusing t-shirts and buy regular clothes
- Stop buying clothes you never get around to wearing
- Dust your room more regularly
- Go out more often
- Be more social when I do go out
- Don’t use payday as an excuse to go shopping
- Ride that bike you bitched about getting from UPS
- Blog more about myself instead what I’m watching or reading (mostly watching)
Who are we kidding though. It’s not like I’m going to do 98% of the things on this list but at least if you see me not doing any of these things, you have permission to openly judge me.
What’s on your mental “to-do” list?
*This was going to be another 100 Things list but even I’m not that screwed up that there are 100 things that could improve my life.
Posted in 100 Things, Lists, Me... | Tagged 100 Things, Lists, Me... | 3 Comments »
February 27, 2008
It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these things.
Thanks to Cindylu for the inspiration.
Let’s get it on
- Akon’s voice
- People who claim to be die hard fans but can’t name more than five people on the team (you can just be a fan of a player)
- That face Eli Manning makes when he botches a play
- Any article by Bill Simmons about Boston teams (except this one)
- The current exchange rate with US Dollar and any country across North Atlantic Ocean
- Being stuck at work late because I’m waiting for someone to send me something or respond to something
- Southern hip-pop especially when the song is just an excuse to do a variation of a “kick, twist, finger snap” dance
- Meetings/Conference calls at work scheduled between 12:00-1:00 PM
- E-mails or phone calls requesting work that requires more than 30 minutes of your time 15 minutes before you’re going to leave
- People who talk on Bluetooth headsets but don’t think they look strange
- Isiah Thomas’ continued existence on the Knicks sideline
- A-Rod interviews
- People who talk throughout the movie
- People who look at their cell phones/Blackberrys during the movies (Thanks, Andrea. I was letting that one go until I met you)
- People who talk about a movie or television assuming you’ve seen it and spoil something
- Paying extra money for a comic book and just getting 4 extra pages and 8 more pages of ads
- That point in a book where you know you don’t like it but you’ve come this far so you have to finish it
- Spam comments on my blog
- Invites to add more applications to my Facebook page
- Myspace pages that are so busy they crash my browser
- E-mail spam that starts out like “hi” in the subject line but then in the message in says “Do you want a bigger penis?”
- When something I want goes on sale the second I decide that I’m not going to spend anymore money
- Skunky beer
- Celebrity tabloid culture
- When people act like my racial identity is tied to my interests or my social activities
- Couples who act like “schmoopies” in public
- Fox News Channel
- Waking up 30 minutes before your alarm goes off
- When a McDonald’s has a different Dollar Menu than the one I’m used to in Harlem
- The sound of cat murders/orgies that goes on every other night behind my apartment
- When they have block parties on my block and play offensive music despite being across the street from a church
- When you order a DVD online and it arrives but the DVD got lose in the packing and it is all scratched up
- When my DVR/cable gets messed up due to inclement weather
- When someone gets to the register at a fast food place and acts like they’ve never been to a fast food place before
- Chappelle Show: The Lost Episodes
- When a presidential address disrupts my favorite television show
- When I get lost or stuck in a video game
- Friend requests on Facebook or MySpace from people I am 100% sure I don’t know
- When people complain about how much the Yankees spend on their roster, especially when those people are fans of other big city/big spender teams like the Mets or the Red Sox
- The “Why are you single” question
- Jessica Alba’s acting
- When an album has more shitty songs than good ones and no great ones
- My own debilitating laziness
- When a new female character appears on The L Word and she just happens to be gay
- When people are cast in movies because they are famous, not because they can act
- When I’m downloading something off a torrent and it stops at 99.7%
- When people try to manipulate you into doing something, not by asking directly, but by trying to make it seem like it’s something you wanted to do anyway and you notice and you would have done whatever they had wanted if they just asked but now you almost want to say “no” just because of the shitty attempt
- Run-on sentences
- Close talkers
- Stuart Scott (just talk like a normal human being)
- When good shows not only get cancelled but don’t get a chance to wrap up the show semi-cleanly
- When shitty shows never end (especially if you find yourself hooked on it for some reason)
- When Yankees fans boo Yankees (except for Kyle Farnsworth)
- Bandwagon jumpers
- People who don’t believe that you aren’t a bandwagon jumper
- When comics come out a day late because of a holiday
- When the office is closed on a Tuesday or Thursday but you don’t get Monday or Friday off respectively
- When a comic book I love is turned into a really shitty movie (i.e. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
- An itch in my lower back that is out of my reach
- Being put in the friend zone before you get a chance to make your move
- When girls make sure to tell a story that includes the phrase “So my boyfriend…” and you weren’t even interested in her like that
- When girls make sure to tell a story that includes the phrase “So my boyfriend…” and you thought you had a chance
- When a concert I want to go gets sold out in less than 15 minutes
- Standing behind a tall person at a concert
- Expensive umbrellas that fall apart after the first strong gust of wind
- Losing a good umbrella at a bar
- When multiple projects come in around the same time with the same deadline (give or take a day)
- When something you want is on sale but not in your size
- When you buy something and then it goes on sale but too much time has passed to get a price match
- Rude people at the register (especially at fast food joints)
- Beers that cost more than $7
- Having to go to Brooklyn for a party that starts at 10 PM
- Any “no panties” pictures of Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears/Paris Hilton/etc.
- Poorly choreographed wrestling matches
- When people can’t take a joke
- Junk mail
- People who don’t know how to walk on the sidewalk
- Tourists in Times Square
- People who don’t flush the toilet after use
- When people complain about not getting answers in Lost
- Women who don’t like to be on top
- People who treat their opinions like facts
- When I buy a DVD and five months later a 2-disc special edition comes out
- When people show up 10 minutes before a movie starts on opening weekend and complain that there is nowhere to sit
- People who call you 5 minutes after they sent you an e-mail and say, ‘Did you get my e-mail?”
- Seeing a bad movie in the theater
- When you order food to go with special requests (”medium well”, “no tomatoes”, etc.) and you get home and they didn’t do it
- That look the Chinese food delivery guy gives you when he feels you haven’t tipped him enough
- That tone friends at work (or co-workers pretending you are friends for the time being) get when they are going to ask you a favor they think is unreasonable
- My paycheck
- Calls from headhunters
- Calls from vendors looking for business
- When people treat politics like they are voting for High School Prom Queen or King
- When people who try to walk into the subway car before everyone gets off
- When people jaywalk with baby strollers
- When the bartender can’t mix drinks properly and there is either too much alcohol or too much chaser
- UPS
- When an article of clothing you love gets ruined in the wash or gets a mysterious hole
- The quality of toilet paper at the office (it’s apparently 0.5 ply sheets)
- In the summer, when you are about to get on a subway car and it’s pretty empty but before it’s too late, you realize you are in either the no A/C car or the “homeless guy who has shit himself” car (or both!)
So what annoys you…besides me?
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January 8, 2008
Memories are wonderful things if you don’t have to deal with the past.
~ Celine from Before Sunset
This will be my last “100″ list. Seriously.
- The party we threw the night before graduation from New York University at Bar 85.
- Oversleeping for graduation and wearing the clothes I had on at the party under my gown.
- My first night at NYU when I met Anya and Rashida and we all went to Tower Records.
- When I tied Anya to her chair so she would finish her paper
- Getting my first tattoo in Philly in 1999
- When Nou yelled at me from the stage and accused me a heckling her. Then talking at the bar and becoming great friends immediately
- Black Lily at Shine on Hannah’s birthday (technically)
- When Joey convinced the Mrs. Cantino (the Spanish teacher) that he had jumped out the window
- The first time I went snowboarding with Eva
- Going all the way to New Hampshire to get furniture for Anya’s apartment and driving back to NYC in the largest U-Haul truck they had on the lot.
- My first kiss on the bus of Young People’s Day Camp on the last day of camp.
- The first time I kissed T.Y. at Todd’s house waiting for her father to pick her up
- The first time I kissed E.B. on her couch after I rushed to her house in Queens from NYU.
- The first time I kissed F.J. in my car after weeks of just sitting in my car and talking and, well, NOT kissing.
- Eric and I getting in trouble during our first high school dance at St. Mary’s for dancing too promiscuously with the girls during the reggae portion of the DJ set
- When Nou, Tank and others who I can’t recall were listening to D’Angelo’s Voodoo for the first time.
- When I got laid off from Sukin Law Group
- First time I went to Great Adventure with F.J.
- After the blackout in 2003, walking down to Jen’s apartment and sitting on her stairs with Suzy, Sheila and Jen drinking her remaining Bud Lights
- Celebrating the Yankees 1996 World Series win with E.B.’s mother because E.B. didn’t care.
- Celebrating the Yankees 1999 World Series win on street in front of Third North Dorm. All the bars between 10th and 13th street let out and we stopped traffic until a truck full of cops made us go back inside
- After an argument before I had to go to work, E.B. driving in the rain from Queens to Broadway Mall in Hicksville to give me a balloon that said “I’m Sorry.”
- When F.J. made me a makeshift pair of glasses.
- When Pierre interrupted E.B. and I in bed then decided to hang around and watch Mr. Wrong with us until she left.
- The first Okayplayer reunion in Philadelphia
- When I finished moving into the Harlem apartment and just passed out in my bed
- When none of us could get a rental car, driving down to Atlanta from New York with Kristy, Derreck, Eric, Fatima, Tara and Bill.
- Going to Chik-Fil-A on the way home
- The first time I went to England to visit Hannah and she brought me to a wine bar with her friends and I pretended to be a “rude American”.
- Watching the Giants beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship game with my brother and his friend Seth
- Winning that writing award and $500 bond at my 8th Grade graduation.
- Lance kicking the Nintendo every time I was about to beat him in RBI Baseball via the mercy rule
- Going camping with E.B. and all her friends
- Helping Jen paint a room in her house
- Visiting Angie on the set of Scrubs
- Mercy Flush Ski Weekend I & II
- Seth: “I think I blew my load on that granny shot.”
- Kaiva’s going away party
- Winning the Unsung Hero Award at the OPR Professional Achievement Awards
- After Jeremy’s Ale House, K.P. breaking into a Axl Rose impression that caused Nikki, Kevin and I to fall to the ground simultaneously.
- Tara falling in front of Nevada Smith’s Matrix-style
- 2002 New Year’s at Kristy’s apartment in Far Rockaway
- Paintball with Tony, Kevin and T.J.
- Finally winning Student of the Month in 4th grade
- When Kerwin and I got drunk on our suitemate’s Pepsi that, unbeknown to us, had vodka in it then heading to NeoLounge and havign he best night ever
- Going to Great Adventure with Bill and Yusef
- Hannah’s birthday at Kristy’s house in which her birthday cake cracked so we wrote “Boom” on it
- Hugging Anya in Loeb Student Center and cracking her back to which she gave an orgasmic reaction
- Riding in the “cage” on the way to Great Adventure with Pam, Nikki, Alison, Andrea and Copas
- My fight with Frederico which resulted in getting hit in the ribs with a shovel and having my finger bitten so I couldn’t punch him back
- When Kenny, Nick and I went into Broadway Mall and stole more than $100 dollars worth of cassette tapes
- Snowball fights at the dead end of Montauk Court
- Kerwin and I playing NBA Live until 5 AM because he wouldn’t let me go to sleep until he beat me
- When I accidentally did the Rock Bottom to Jasmine in Chicago
- Getting pulled over in Port Washington with Todd driving and Andrew, Brian and Eric in tow. Andrew starts singing “Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do?” and Todd freaks out and yells, “Shut the fuck up!”
- Passing History in Junior year of high school. The teacher said you couldn’t pass if you didn’t do the homework. I proved him wrong.
- Sneaking out of art class, jumping over the fences and buying new cassette tapes every Tuesday.
- Sneaking out of art class to play basketball with Todd, Eric and Rueel.
- Getting on the bus to go to Roosevelt Field to buy TY a Valentine’s Day present, falling asleep in the bus and ending up in Jamaica, Queens.
- Passing notes in high school with Eva and Jen.
- Jessica R’s overly-extravagant and drama-filled sweet 16 party.
- Dressing like an idiot for high school prom - white gloves, sunglasses, cane and Kangol
- The first post Ogilvy PR hug from Sheila
- Taking care of my baby cousin Christopher at my grandparents’ house in Jamaica
- Getting chased by Brother Joseph in the hallway after he noticed I had shaved my head
- Going to the Intrepid with Mona for no reason and taking 50 pictures
- Senior formal at NYU until I got drunk, locked out and stuck with a whiny Rafick
- The Halloween Black Lily show where I dressed as Dr. Evil with my personalized Mini Me
- Rock Lily when Danophonic Dan tried to jump into the crowd but took too much of a running start and jumped over the crowd
- Jen and Christine’s housewarming party where we all agreed not to show up drunk and we showed up obliterated instead
- Setting my alarm to chest Kevin at midnight at the housewarming party and hitting him so hard, he collapsed
- Drunkenly walking Crosby around the block at the same housewarming party.
- Getting paid to dress up as Blade at a comic convention
- In Chicago, walking all the way to the store in the rain and coming back to the hotel empty handed forgetting that I went to the store for food.
- Attempting to drive to New Jersey with Danophonic Dan and ending up in Deleware
- Dinners at Tara’s apartment before Black Lily shows
- Playing Kickball in Prospect Park and then attempting to play Every Man For Themselves Dodgeball
- Tara’s birthday cake that had an inappropriate message on it
- Getting drunk on Stella Artois with Hibo in London
- After a girl he was messing with had left the dorm room, Kerwin and I trying to determine what that foul odor was
- Playing tackle football in Cantiague Park on Sundays
- Handing out flyers for Black Lily shows with Nou and Tank in the city
- Sex
- Getting chased out of Sherwood Gardens on Halloween for being from Westbury Hills
- Matt: “What kind of stupid name is ‘Hibo’?”
- Seeing The Ring with Kristy and Eric (spoilers) and a) busting out laughing when the horse jumped off the boat and didn’t clear the ledge and b) huddling up and yelling “WHAT THE FUCK?!” when the girl crawled out of the TV
- Going to a random park, seeing Harold & Kumar Goes To White Castle then going to White Castle and ordering Crave Cases with Eric, Derreck, Bill, Tara and Ian
- Getting kicked out of English Honors Class twice in 15 minutes: First for being late (I wasn’t) and second when I was sent back to class without a detention and I chuckled at Mrs. Hill when he looked at me during attendance
- My backrub exchange program with Anya
- When my brother and his friends were riding around the neighborhood with weapons because they thought someone stole me bike
- When my father foolishly had the barber shave my hair almost bald and I was so embarrassed that I opted to wear my Superman hat in class the next day. The teacher took me outside and told me to show her and it couldn’t be that bad and I did and she laughed.
- Out last day in Amsterdam when Derreck wouldn’t let us leave any unfinished business
- Lining up with Andrea to try to get the perfect space to watch Casablanca in Bryant Park
- Racing back to the city from my high school reunion because Nikki and Tony were sending me text messages that Kevin was drunkenly making out with a really tall girl
- The one year in Little League when our team won our division after playing on last place teams for three years
- When Mary showed me her nipple piercing in Houlihan’s in front of the window
- Seeing the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in New Jersey from 10 AM to 1 AM at a movie theater in New Jersey with Tia
- Playing “Red Light” on the bus on the way home from school.
- Making mix tapes in my brother’s room for T.Y. and E.B.
- When Kerwin, Troy and I had to drag Rafick out of Christine’s dorm because he was drunk, professing his love for Christine and wouldn’t leave. Then we got him back to our room and he threw up and missed the the trash can and Kerwin kicked him.
If you are mentioned somewhere here, thanks for the memories. If not, I’m sure we have some beautiful memories that I just couldn’t remember while I was putting this together (did I mention I drink a lot?). Feel free to leave a comment mentioning a memory of us you think I forgot (or if I got one I did post wrong). Otherwise, I look forward to making future memories with you. Bring a camera though. It will be easier for me to remember.
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December 11, 2007
Another project from Sheila:
- Will Ferrell’s scenes in whatever movie he is in
- New comics on Wednesday
- Snickers bars
- New episodes of my favorite shows
- Hearing a song that is line with what I’m feeling at the moment (if that moment is a good moment, of course)
- Receiving cards in the mail (not e-cards, USPS style)
- Receiving hugs in proportion to the hugs I’m giving
- Trying to have a intelligent conversation with someone under the age of 9
- This song
- First kisses
- Inside jokes
- False glimmers of hope from crushes
- Receiving a complement about something I don’t necessarily believe about myself
- The ten seconds between just finishing cleaning your room and starting the process of messing it up again
- Seeing something I want on sale
- The moment you realize a movie is going to be one of your favorites
- Learning something new about someone I care about
- Not having to get out of bed when other people are at work
- Sugar
- Beating the hard part of a video game
- Winning
- Being right
- Having a conversation with a friend who is just as drunk as you are about how drunk you both aren’t
- Holding hands when its cold (locking fingers, not grasping hands)
- Noticing something cute about someone they may not notice about themselves
- When one of your favorite movies are on cable and you turn to it and it’s at your favorite part
- When I realize the person I saw a movie with loved it just as much as I did and instead of defending it, we can exchange praise, favorite parts and quotes all the way home.
- Being finished with a project
- When an album I’ve been dying to hear leaks on the internet
- Soft vanilla ice cream in a cone with rainbow sprinkles
- Getting comments on my blog especially from friends I didn’t know read it
- Watching recaps of the Yankees or Giants winning on SportsCenter
- Getting a phone call right after a new episode of 24 or Lost concludes
- When someone loves a movie I recommended
- Finding a present that is perfect for someone
- The first sip of the first beer after a long shitty day
- When a book turns into something you have to finish, instead of something you are just reading
- Rilo Kiley songs
- Telling people who make at least $20,000 more than me what to do
- Giving somebody something they wanted, especially if they didn’t ask for it
- A good chicken cheesesteak
- Someone liking something I wrote
- Not having to do anything
- Genuine surprises
- Seeing someone smile at me
- Being complimented on what I’m wearing
- Receiving voicemails & text messages from drunk friends
- Being missed
- Reading my friends’ blogs
- Having a good week in fantasy football
- Game winning home runs by the Yankees
- White Chocolate Mocha Latte from Starbucks
- Black noodles with chicken from Spice
- Reading Ask Ausiello on Wednesday morning and talking my friends about it
- Looking at my checking account online and realizing I’m not going to be broke before my next paycheck arrives
- Kristin Chenowith on Pushing Daisies
- When the Yankees beat the Mets or the Red Sox
- When the Mets and the Red Sox lose
- Seeing pictures of myself that I actually like
- Getting a back massage of equal or better quality than one I would give myself
- Finding money in a pair of jeans
- Finishing all the shows stored on my DVR
- Shelia’s morning instant messenger hugs
- Tara’s “eeeee” when something is hilarious
- Nikki’s 3D dance
- Andrea’s “I wanna see that!” face after a good movie trailer
- Getting sincerely thanked
- Seeing my friends who are pregnant
- Open bars
- Spring
- Waking up at my stop on the subway (on the first try)
- Having a really good idea
- Welch’s grape soda
- When there are Twizzlers in the vending machine at work
- When Jack Bauer shoots someone
- Being done with work for the day or the week
- When a movie I’ve been dying to see again finally comes out on DVD
- Getting answers on Lost
- Tropicana Orange Juice (No pulp)
- Egg and bacon on a roll in the morning
- H&H plain bagel, lightly toasted, one butter
- New Perry Bible Fellowship comic strips
- Being needed but not manipulated or abused
- Juvenile humor
- Getting a new tattoo
- Being comfortable with someone or something
- Having all my shirts ironed and put away
- Meeting someone new who loves things that I love
- Finishing my bag of comics for the week
- Seeing someone I miss
- Soft white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies
- New t-shirts on Threadless (even if I’m not allowing myself to buy anymore)
- Getting White Castle after 2 AM after a night of drinking and hanging out
- Laughing hysterically with friends
- Epiphanies
- Seeing someone on the street I don’t feel like talking to first so I can avoid them
- Making someone feel better
- Getting a blog post out of my system
- Hearing an amazing album for the first time.
- Making someone else smile…if only for a second
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November 27, 2007
Feel free to disagree with me but I think…
- …MTV with their reality based programming is destroying the brains of young white girls everywhere.
- …BET is matching them step for step on destroying the brain of young African-Americans.
- …The only positive thing about the current state of hip-hop is that any kid now thinks he can be a rapper because bar has been lowered so low for what constitutes a “good song.” It’s nice to have dreams.
- …Lost is better than Heroes and it’s damn near insulting to compare the two.
- …It’s nice to support your team and all but until the Mets win at least two more World Series, Mets fans really shouldn’t say shit about the Yankees.
- …The reason Batman resonates with fans more than Spider-Man and Superman is because he has no powers therefore creating the belief that, however unrealistic, with an unlimited bank account and near psychotic levels of training and dedication, you too can be Batman.
- …Women are generally smarter than men when it comes to matters of the heart. So much smarter that they end up out thinking themselves underestimating how dumb a guy can be.
- …You can track the decline of society by watching every season of MTV’s The Real World in chronological order.
- …YouTube and WikiPedia are the two greatest things to happen to cubicle drones.
- …Tabloids are destroying what little intelligence the Western World has.
- …Men and women both get complacent in long-term relationships and stop doing the cute things that they did in the beginning of the relationships. Women just say something about it.
- …Guys love “bitches” almost as much as girls love “bad boys”.
- …People don’t change. They just learn to accept things.
- …The reason some guys can’t commit a relationship is they are always thinking about what else they can be doing. It’s like being a quarterback. One receiver is WIDE OPEN but you still check your other receivers to see if you can slip a pass in there.
- …When you are in the early stages of a relationship, it makes you blind to certain things. Most notably, how ridiculously you are acting in public.
- …No one can remember when they stopped making out with their significant other.
- …If Joey ended up with anyone, she should have ended up with Dawson, not Pacey. It was DAWSON’S CREEK not Pacey’s Pond.
- …The Matrix was not intended to be a trilogy. The Wachowski Brothers lied to get more money.
- …The only friends worth keeping are the ones you can not talk to for long periods of time and nothing changes.
- …Going out to clubs is overrated.
- …Before you buy your favorite sports player’s jersey, check out the terms of his contract with his team. Even then, it’s still a short term investment.
- …Facebook is better than MySpace because the design is the same for every page. MySpace was ruined when they let members add songs and change the design.
- …”The Takeover” was better than “Ether” because Jay-Z dissed Nas from the perspective of a fan while Nas, while making a few valid digs, resorted to calling him “ugly” and “gay.”
- …Denzel Washington shouldn’t have won an Oscar for Training Day. He should have won it for Malcolm X.
- …It’s a travesty that America doesn’t have universal health care.
- …Carrie ending up with Big after everything he did to her over the course of the series gave all men hope that as long as she loves you, you still have a chance.
- …Women’s shoes are designed to be comfortable to walk in for 10 minutes tops. That’s how long it will take for them to decide to buy the shoe. Then they’re proper fucked.
- …Guys don’t ask other guys for advice on their relationships.
- …Paris Hilton is the most influential person in the last five years. She redefined (read: lowered the standard) for “celebrity” and was the harbinger of doom for the media.
- …Protests and petitions don’t change anything.
- …The biggest mistake Marvel Comics made was bringing Jean Grey back from the dead.
- …The top three Not Ready For Prime Time Players were Bill Murray, Phil Hartman & Gilda Radner.
- …Spike Lee uses the movies to see the breast of actresses he finds attractive.
- …Female bartending is the most sexually discriminating job next to stripper. But at least there are fat, ugly strippers. If there’s a fat,ugly bartender, she’s is the owner or having sex with him.
- …George Lucas was lying when he said he intended Star Wars to have nine parts. He made it up as he went along.
- …You shouldn’t be watching MTV programming if you are over the age of 30.
- …”Cancer” should never be used as a metaphor.
- …Women should spend more money on their significant others and not just for gift-giving holidays and birthdays. It’s only fair.
- …Road House is the greatest B-movie ever made.
- …Every third movie of a Marvel film franchise has sucked.
- …Batman The Animated Series was the best cartoon based on a comic book character.
- …R&B songs are boring when you aren’t in a relationship or reminiscing on one.
- …Brad Pitt’s best role was 12 Monkeys.
- …Movies are too long these days.
- …Arrested Development (the TV show, not the hip-hop group) was ahead of its time.
- …24 is right wing propaganda.
- …Love Actually is the best romantic comedy of the last five years.
- …The New York Giants will never win a Super Bowl with Eli Manning at quarterback.
- …Technology is getting everyone to the point of never having to leave your house. The last step will be a video cell phone (meaning you can see the person you are talking to).
- …”Douche” as an insult is in the midst of a renaissance.
- …People who think they are special because they don’t want an iPod are douches.
- …Duke should have died in G.I. Joe The Movie.
- …People who talk during movies should be sterilized.
- …Parenting classes should be given alongside Lamaze classes.
- …They shouldn’t have made a trilogy out of Pirates of the Carribean.
- …Die Hard is the greatest action movie ever.
- …Tony Soprano was killed.
- …The Rock was the best wrestler in the last 20 years.
- …Val Klimer was a pretty good Batman but he sucked as Bruce Wayne because he spoke in the same tone.
- …Dream On was a more realistic depiction of dating in New York City than Sex & The City.
- …Carrie was given a second chance with Aidan so he could be somewhat vilified and Carrie can recover some of the likability she lost when she cheated on him.
- …Will Ferrell, while appearing in a number of really bad movies, is incapable of not being funny.
- …Adam Sandler has only tried to act in four movies - The Wedding Singer, Punch Drunk Love, Spanglish & Reign Over Me.
- …Sega Genesis was a better machine that the Nintendo 64 but Nintendo had the 3rd party support.
- …Mary J. Blige has one dance step. She should really try to stand still when she sings.
- …High Fidelity is the closest we’ve come to “Bro Flick” (as opposed to a “Chick Flick”)
- …Living a long boring life is the worst way to die, followed closely by drowning and suffocating.
- …If your ass crack shows when you bend over, your jeans do not fit. Take them off and change into something more appropriate.
- …It is impossible for a guy not to stare at cleavage at least once. If you don’t notice, it means he got his fill while you weren’t paying attention.
- …Chappelle’s Show was funnier than The Chris Rock Show but Chris Rock is a better stand-up comedian.
- …Racism will never end.
- …Three greatest comic strips of all-time: The Peanuts, The Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes.
- …Whole Foods is one of the best places to meet attractive singles in New York City. Better than a bar.
- …Fall is the best season because you actually can dress for it and it doesn’t rain as much as it does in Spring.
- …If you are constantly talking to your friends and family about your relationship problems but not to your significant other about your relationship problems, break up.
- …Despite the advancements in birth control, you probably shouldn’t sleep with someone you couldn’t stand to be a part of your life forever. You never know.
- …You shouldn’t even think about getting married to someone if you can’t sit in a room with them and not say anything to one another and not be bothered by that fact.
- …You should be allowed to slap guys who have their polo collars popped.
- …Monica should not have been able to afford that apartment on Friends. I don’t care if it was rent stabilized. Rachel and her weren’t consistently employed for the first six seasons.
- …It’s a cliche to say but Aquaman really was the lamest Justice Leaguer.
- …”Bennifer” ruined Ben Affleck’s career but Jennifer Lopez seemed to escape with only a few scratches.
- …Kevin Smith peaked too soon with Chasing Amy.
- …Futurama should have been saved instead of Family Guy.
- …You shouldn’t date your friends unless the basis of your friendship was mutual attraction therefore making your friendship a trial run at dating.
- …DuckTales was the best Disney after school cartoon.
- …Relationships with coworkers always end poorly.
- …The A Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was ruined when they decided that Freddy Kreuger should be funny.
- …The biggest problem with US sitcoms is that they never know when to end. If every show had a five season plan that they stuck to, even if it was a high rated show, the quality of television would improve.
- …Kids shouldn’t be allowed to read Cosmopolitan and Maxim and magazines like that until they are 18.
- …If you could get quality vegetarian dishes at McDonald’s prices, there would be more vegetarians.
- …Crash (over Brokeback Mountain) was the most ridiculous Academy Award winner for Best Picture in the last 10 years followed by Shakespeare In Love (over Saving Private Ryan).
- …Quentin Tarantino abuses the N word in his movies but he’s not as bad as Martin Scorsese who has an affinity for racist characters.
- …All of Wes Anderson’s movies feel like they are taking place at the same time, in the same world, just in different parts of town.
- …Lebron James is the future of the NBA but he won’t win a title with the Cleveland Cavaliers before his contract is up.
- …The future presented in Mike Judge’s Idiocracy doesn’t seem that improbable.
- …Paparazzi are the scum of the Earth.
- …Superman flying around the world to save Lois Lane was the worst deus ex machina ever filmed.
- …If your name ends in “-quita,” your parents have cursed you with a social disadvantage.
- …It’s harder to find someone you actually want to hold hands with than it is someone to sleep with.
- …There has been a song written for every matter of the heart.
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November 8, 2007
Since the last one was so popular and I forgot a couple, let’s do 100 more…
- I can’t use chopsticks.
- I have four tattoos.
- I can’t tell good stories. Like when people describe something that happens at work and it sounds interesting…I can’t do that. it always falls flat.
- I think I have 15-20 anecdotes that I tell over and over again because I don’t think anything else that’s happened to me or around me has been that interesting.
- I spend too much money on alcohol
- I failed my driver’s exam on the first try. The test lasted less than two minutes as I drifted into the lane of oncoming traffic as I was preparing for a left turn.
- I am not very good at sports. I can’t catch fly balls, I shoot basketballs awkwardly and either I can’t throw a spiral AND connect with my target.
- My friend Lance who went on to play college basketball once told me that you could have come out and played basketball with me and gotten really good or stayed home and played video games and read comics. Guess which I went with?
- My parents bought me a video camera for Christmas one year. Why? I don’t know. All I ever did with it was re-enact Wu-Tang Clan videos at my friend’s houses.
- I lost my virginity at 18.
- My mother only spanked once but it was so bad, I blacked out and have no recollection of the beating. I just woke up in bed like what happened?
- The reason I love England so much is it was the only non-Jamaica trip I went on as a kid (Canada doesn’t count). That and I LOVED DangerMouse as a kid.
- I went to my senior prom with this girl who I was friends with. We really just wanted to go to the prom. Her father picked her up at 11:30 PM on the dot and took her home which was fine because I was in pursuit of someone else.
- I miss one thing about each of my exes.
- When I was in 8th grade, I was into heavy metal. My favorite album at the time was Metallica’s …And Justice For All. I had magazine posters of various groups. I was teased by the black kids in school and the neighborhood.
- I like buying gifts for people.
- When I was in grade school, I once bought my mother these cheap earrings (but expensive for me) at a fair. She never wore them, keeping them in the original packaging. This coupled with the fact that she kept all the plants I bought her in the downstairs bathroom reminds me why I don’t like buying my mother presents.
- I apparently have a lot of Cancerian-typical mommy issues.
- I can’t swim.
- I almost drowned in 4th grade at a friend’s pool party. I was in an inflatable donut over the deep end and my friend thought it would be funny to run and jump into the donut and kick me out. I went straight to the bottom. Another parent pulled me out.
- The most I ever weighed was 207.
- I have never attempted to obtain a woman’s phone number at a bar, club or any other social gathering.
- I took two years of high school Spanish, five semesters of Spanish at NYU (you were only required to take four but i failed the competency test and was forced to take a fifth) and I still can’t maintain a conversation in Spanish beyond “Hola”, “Como estas?”, “Asi asi. Y tu?”
- I’m not sure if I believe in God or a celestial omnipotent being because I actually believe or because of my years of Lutheran Sunday School and Catholic school make it impossible for me NOT to believe in the existence of a divine being.
- I don’t however support religion. They are like different futbol teams in the same league with fans that can act like hooligans.
- I have over 11,000 songs on my iPod.
- The most tracks I have by one artist is Jay-Z with 167.
- I have been balding since I was 19.
- I think people who jaywalk with babies should have their children taken away.
- I think OJ is innocent but knows who did it. To do all the things they say he did that night would make him a) superhuman and b) the dumbest criminal alive. I just don’t think he was both.
- I get nervous around cops.
- The first time I shaved my head was an accident. It was the day before Senior year yearbook photos and I neglected to get a haircut so I woke my brother up at 5:30 AM to give me a haircut. He ended up cutting off all my hair except a patch in the back. I took my picture and had to shave my head to even it out. Unfortunately, bald heads were forbidden in my school and I had detention until it grew back to a reasonable length.
- The first album I had sex to was Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite.
- I wish I could be a better son but I’m too stuck in my ways.
- 3 or 4 years ago, my father was having a stent put in his heart and I drove him to the hospital for the surgery. Feeling the potential mortality of the situation, he chose this opportunity to tell me, “I wish you had gone to graduate school.” I’m still pissed about that.
- I only eat hot dogs because it gives me excuse to have ketchup.
- I have two groups of friends who probably won’t meet until my wedding or, more likely, my funeral.
- I have only smoked cigarettes twice - once when I was a little kid and we found a pack at the park we used to play at and we each took a puff and once when I went to England and got drunk and smoked 3-5 of my friend’s Marlboro Lights. I thought about smoking for the next 2 days and can see how it might be addicting.
- I went through this weird period in Junior year of NYU when Sarah McLachlan’s Surfacing was my favorite album (Thanks, Eva).
- I’ve never dated someone close to my complexion. Not by intention.
- I stopped reading comics in freshman and sophomore year for two reasons: 1) I couldn’t afford to take the LIRR to see my girlfriend in Queens and buy comics every week on my crappy pay and 2) I was kind of embarrassed that I read comics and hid it from her.
- Song vs. song, I still think Jay-Z won.
- On the morning of 9/11, I left my girlfriend’s house, took the bus with my headphones on. There was an announcement but I didn’t hear it because I was listening to music. I got on the E train and the train stopped and the conductor said something over the speaker and people started talking but I missed it because I was listening to music. When I got out the subway, I saw the streets were crowded and people were looking up but I didn’t notice because I was late to work. When I got to work, it was pretty empty and I didn’t have Internet access so I didn’t know what had happened until about 9:15 AM when my co-worker came in.
- My favorite color is red.
- If I drink too much Stella Artois, I start speaking in a British accent. This has become known as “Cockney Sean.”
- I have never cheated on a girlfriend.
- I suspect one girlfriend actually cheated on me, while I was definitely the victim of a couple of emotional affairs.
- If I could be stuck on a deserted island with one book, it would be The Complete Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson.
- In 8th grade during class, one of my classmates decided to dry hump his hand during Science class. I told a couple of some people and it spread like wildfire and we were all laughing at him. Someone told it was me who started saying it and, despite the best effort of my female classmates, he punched me in my chest and sent me straight to the nurse.
- I can deal with racism and all the other shit that comes with being a Black man…but the razor bumps are a pain in the ass.
- I love the words “myriad” and “delve”.
- I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t surf the net when I get bored at work which is often.
- I can’t snowboard but that doesn’t stop me from trying.
- I miss riding on the LIRR because of all the time I had to read.
- I’m pro-life.
- I loved each of my girlfriends or at least what I understood love to be at the time I was with them.
- I have over 300 DVDs that I rarely, if ever, watch.
- When I was a kid, my brother had me intercept any mail that would piss my parents off - letters from school, parking tickets, credit card bills.
- The only pets I ever had were gerbils. The plan was to buy a male and female gerbil and sell the babies but Petworld gave me three male gerbils before they finally gave me a female one. Then it turned into a gerbil rape cage. I only sold one gerbil. They started to multiply quickly. There wasn’t enough food so they started eating each other. At the peak, I had 21. My room smelled of gerbil piss 24/7. My father let them into the woods when I wasn’t home…or so he said.
- I’m not secretive. I’m just not forthcoming with personal information unless asked direct questions. Luckily, most people are content to talk about themselves.
- The scar under my right eye is from a bike accident I got into when I was 13.
- If there was a fire in my apartment or my office, I’d be okay as long as I had my iPod.
- I was a prolific writer of notes in high school. I had five shoe boxes of notes: one each for notes from Jen, Eva, Tina and Elysia, and one more miscellaneous notes. I held onto to them until I was about 25 when my parents finally threw them away. I would love to read them again.
- I like being a “boyfriend.”
- That said, at this stage in my life, I can’t even imagine what kind of girl it would take to make me be a boyfriend again.
- I used to hate when people say “You don’t sound Black.” They don’t realize how stupid that concept is.
- I can tell when I like someone when I have to stop myself from buying things for them that I’d think they’d like.
- I can’t drink