I’ve rarely seen groom’s input as many of their own details as you did (cufflinks, comic props for the photo booth, Batman socks). What made you not take the “just tell me where to show up” route? (Tish)
I really thought hard about this one and frankly, it is because Cindy let me. I had a lot of wild ideas about things I wanted to do for our wedding and if, at any point, Cindy had said “no,” I wouldn’t have done it. I might have been salty but I would have acquiesced.
Everyone knows that weddings are really about the bride. That’s why there aren’t any groom magazines. Luckily, Cindy isn’t one of those brides. She let me express my geekiness all throughout our wedding. This is my big day too!
For the record, the comic book props for the photobooth was all Cindy’s idea. I just ran with it. Just another reason I knew I picked the right woman to spend the rest of my life with.
What’s one thing (besides getting married) that you are so happy happened? (Sheila)
There was a point when the DJ started mixing reggae music with some Mexican songs and members of my family and Cindy’s family were dancing together, cheering each other on like it was a dance-off. I was too far away from the dance floor to join in but it made me happy to see everyone having a good time.
Funniest thing said by anyone? (Sheila)
Without naming names, one of the members of the wedding party was in bad shape during the reception. When Derreck, one of my groomsmen, told me about this, he said that person was sitting outside “contemplating his life.”
What was the one thing you anticipated happening that didn’t happen? (Sheila)
No one really cried. Cindy and I were joking all month leading up to the wedding , “Oh, you’re going to cry when this happens” and “Your dad is going to cry during father-daughter dance.” We even made a little bet about it. I almost lost during the vows but at the end of the day, everyone kept their money
What would you do differently? (Tabitha)
The one thing that stands out is the rehearsal dinner. Not that there was anything wrong with the dinner itself. Because we never said when the dinner was ending, I had family members showing up much later in the evening than anticipated (My family did nothing to dispute the stereotype of CPT all weekend). While I’m glad everyone showed up, I would have liked to have been wrapped up sooner so we could have gotten to the hotel and relaxed a bit (not that a slept AT ALL that night).
Do men actually get nervous or is that all Hollywood fodder? (Tabitha)
I was nervous but not about getting married. I was nervous about something going wrong. I was nervous about being late. I was nervous about crying during the reception (almost!). But getting married to the love of my life? I was so excited by that it was almost overwhelming.
Did you get to spend time with the people who came from the east coast for the wedding? Did it go by too fast or were you able to enjoy each moment? (Heather)
I definitely felt like I didn’t get to spend enough time with the people who came from the East Coast. One of the downsides of having a large wedding is you spend so much time going table to table greeting guests that you never really get to spend a lot of time individually with anyone. I know that people traveled thousands of miles for the wedding and I wish I could have spent more time with every one of them.
Everyone warned me but it’s true. Your wedding really does go by so fast. By the time we finished the garter toss, it felt like the wedding was almost over. While I was exhausted by the end, I wish I had more time to talk to people, dance and take photos in our booth.
It’s been over three weeks and I still haven’t written a post about our wedding.
That’s pretty bad. I’ve started writing it in my mind almost every morning but can’t decide which direction to approach it from.
While I sort all that out in my mind, I decided to try something different.
Either via e-mail or in the comment section, ask me any question about the wedding. I’ll take my favorite ones and reply to them in a post later this week.
Have at it, my few but faithful readers.
Photo by Michael Fletcher Photography
No one tells you how lonely unemployment can be. I don’t think I noticed before because Cindy’s work hours used to be more flexible. Since she started her new job a few months ago and has started working 9-5 hours, my days have become increasingly isolated.
Even though I didn’t make many lasting friendships at my last job, they were a part of my life that I didn’t notice until it was gone. They were the ones who I talked about sports with or what movies I may have seen that weekend. I had a coworker who had similar music tastes as me and we’d talk about new albums or shows going on around Los Angeles. There was a Red Sox fan who I sought out whenever the Yankees beat them. He was also a Cowboys fan so I even got to rub it in during the football season. Sometimes, there would be a Lakers game on in the kitchen TV and we would find excuses to congregate there. When I finally got laid off, one of the first things that pissed me off is that I wouldn’t be able to go into work after the Giants won the Super Bowl and talk shit.
When Cindy goes to work in the morning, there are days where I don’t speak again until she gets home. When I do have conversations, it’s either people calling me about jobs I applied to or calling vendors about the wedding. Sometimes, one of the guys at the gym will throw an acknowledgement my way but it’s usually in reference to a sports jersey I’m wearing or a funny t-shirt I have on. I still have instant messages with my friends throughout the day but it’s not the same. Plus, odds are those people are busy1. They have jobs.
I really shouldn’t complain though. I’m not much of a conversationalist these days anyway. The only things I have to talk about are wedding planning or being unemployed. Maybe it’s best that I have no one to talk to throughout the day. I don’t have much to say.
1. I know. I know. I’m annoying. I apologize.
About a month after we got engaged, St. John Vianney, the church Cindy’s family attend and the church we were planning to get married at, was burned down by an arsonist. I remember attending the Palm Sunday service following the fire hearing parishioners sniffling as they sang “We Will Rise Again.”
When I found out friends had visited New York but I didn’t get to see them, I used to be disappointed, mad or sometimes sad. In my mind, I’d think, “I thought we were close. How could you not make time for me?*” Now that I’ve made two visits back to New York since relocating to Los Angeles, I totally get it.
100 days until the greatest night of my life.
Even though we’ve got a lot of things done, I still feel like we have a lot of details to take care of (Cindy has been better about writing about our wedding planning). However, one thing didn’t occur to me until recently
After attending Tony and Christina’s wedding in New Orleans and following Kevin and Jennifer’s wedding in Florida via Instagram and Skype, a small fear started to creep into my mind. What if our wedding isn’t fun? What if, after all is said and done, people don’t have a good time? I know I should be focused on making sure Cindy and I have the best wedding day we can possibly have but I don’t want friends and family to travel cross-country (or from other countries) to not have a good time.
My wedding is 100 days away and I’m already thinking about what people will say when it’s over.
Cindy also wrote a post about out 100 Day mark and our guestlist.
I was never much of a dater (surprise surprise) but I’m noticing that looking for a job has become like looking for a new girlfriend. Everything I hated about being single is now haunting me in my unemployment.
E-Hireme: Before when you were looking for jobs, you would write a cover letter to an HR person with your resume attached. Now there are all these detailed, annoying online applications that take like 15-20 minutes to fill out. It’s like registering for a string of online dating services. You have to recreate your resume over and over again (plus attach your resume – why both?) and you just feel like it’s going into a void never to be looked at.
Hook Me Up?: Everyone you know who has a job at a company you want to work at becomes that friend who has a cute friend you want to be introduced to. It’s awkward especially when they don’t think you two would actually make a good match.
It’s been over a month since I lost my job. It’s funny. I wondered how long it would take me to go from “hopeful that I will find a great opportunity” to “desperate for anything.” The answer is: about a month.
Every weekday afternoon, I load up all the job search sites on my browser. I open new tabs for every job I’m interested or think I am relatively qualified for. Then, after I read through the qualifications, I apply to the ones I think my skills and interest match up best with. I’ve applied to over 30 jobs so far. Those 30 or so resumes have resulted in three in-person interviews and one phone interview. That’s a pretty shitty average. If I was a baseball player, I’d be on the bench or out of the league altogether which, I guess, is how I feel.