Posts Tagged ‘single’

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Consolation Prizes #4: Bed

October 29, 2008

I decided that instead of harping on how it sucks to be single, I’m going to highlight to beautiful things about being single.*  Now I’m not daft, I realize that most of these reasons are going to be variations of the same underlying theme, “no longer having to compromise”, but let me have my fun.

#4: Bed

Sometimes you share the bed with some who is your sleep opposite – they’re a wall/you are a door; they’re a right-side/you’re a left-side; etc.  But it’s nice to have options.

Sure, if you are sharing a bed with someone for a long time, it takes awhile to get used to them being gone but when it’s really hot in your room, nothing beats having a cold side of the bed and two cold pillows (that’s four potential cold sides!).

Then there is comforter issue.  You know how it goes: you go to sleep sharing the comforter evenly but in the middle of the night, you wake up because a large part of you is exposed to the coldness of night.  You try to tug on the comforter to rectify the situation and you find your loving girl/boyfriend has done a tuck and roll (when they grab a part of the comforter with their hands, stick it under their body and roll over on it).  Eventually, they give it back but you’ll be cold again soon enough.

Other things you won’t miss: snoring, talking in their sleep , cold feet, night farts, going to bed when they want to stay up and watch TV or read a book, wanting to read a book or watch TV when they want to go to bed…

Did I miss anything?

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Consolation Prizes #3: Television

October 7, 2008

I decided that instead of harping on how it sucks to be single, I’m going to highlight to beautiful things about being single.*  Now I’m not daft, I realize that most of these reasons are going to be variations of the same underlying theme, “no longer having to compromise”, but let me have my fun.

#3: Television

The invention of DVR has become a blessing and a curse in a relationship.

If you don’t live together and spend extended amounts of time at your girlfriend’s place or just out being with her, you never have to miss any of your shows.

HOWEVER, if you live together or get married, the DVR is the source of many problems.

All the good shows come on at the same time (especially on Mondays and Thursdays).  Now, it’s no secret how much television I watch.  Could you imagine if I had to SHARE the DVR?

I’m sorry. There are wars a man can win in a relationship but if you think you are getting to watch Sunday Night Football when she wants to watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters while taping True Blood and Entourage, you are sorely mistaken**.

Plus there’s the sharing of the remote issue and the “Why do you flip the channels so much?***” argument that you no longer need to deal with.

* If/when I get a girlfriend/wife/semi-regular FB, I will read this list and laugh, cry and/or sigh
** Yes, there might be two TVs in the house but then you will probably be relegated to watching your looks-better-on-a-big-screen show on the crappy TV instead of the big TV that you wanted and picked out for the sole purpose of watching football or other sporting events on.
*** Because I want to watch 30 seconds of Die Hard on HBO while Mad Men is on commercial break. That’s why!
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Consolation Prizes #2: Money

October 3, 2008

I decided that instead of harping on how it sucks to be single, I’m going to highlight to beautiful things about being single.*  Now I’m not daft, I realize that most of these reasons are going to be variations of the same underlying theme, “no longer having to compromise”, but let me have my fun.

#2: Money

Birthdays. Anniversaries. Valentine’s Day. Christmas. “I’m sorry” gifts. “Just Because I Love You” gifts.**

That shit adds up.

How are you supposed to treat yourself?

Sure, you lose out on presents as well but think of all the presents you can buy for the one who loves you the most. The one who knows what you really want for your birthday or Christmas. The ont who doesn’t think it’s stupid for you to have a 50″ flat screen TV*** in your bedroom.

Namely, you.

* If/when I get a girlfriend/wife/semi-regular FB, I will read this list and laugh, cry and/or sigh
** Which are really preemptive “I’m Sorry” gifts
*** My television is only 47″ so this isn’t about me. :)
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Consolation Prizes #1: The Movies

October 2, 2008

I decided that instead of harping on how it sucks to be single, I’m going to highlight to beautiful things about being single.*  Now I’m not daft, I realize that most of these reasons are going to be variations of the same underlying theme, “no longer having to compromise”, but let me have my fun.

#1: The Movies

Enough can’t be said about never having to see a movie you don’t want to see.

Not to say there isn’t a movie I saw while coupled up that didn’t become one of my favorites of all-time, but the odds against that are pretty slim (and a chance I’m willing to take).

Sometimes, I go to a movie with a friend or a group of friends that I normally wouldn’t go to see but the difference is, I could easily say “No” and meet up with them after the movies.  End of story.

You try that with a girlfriend**.  You won’t get hit right away but it will definitely come up on a totally unrelated note during an argument to throw you completely off guard…

Her: “…and we never go to the movies I want to see. It’s always about you and what you want!”
Him: “Huh? What are you talking about?  I thought this was about me not picking up my dirty socks.”

* If/when I get a girlfriend/wife/semi-regular FB, I will read this list and laugh, cry and/or sigh
** Sorry, ladies. Some things on this list will apply to both sexes.  This is not one of them.  Guys will gladly go see The Dark Knight Returns by himself or with his friends and when you force him to so see Failure To Launch, he’ll go begrudgingly but it will never come up again.  Yes, you’ll gladly go see that with your friends but some women have more of a tendency to use going to a movie with her as one of the many mini-tests of your relationship.