Dear Bill Walker,

It’s bad enough that beyond Tyson Chandler, Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Antony, the Knicks’ roster look like a bunch of community center castoffs – always calling “next.” It’s bad enough that Mike D’Antoni’s offensive strategy appears to be shoot as many three pointers as possible (the earlier in the shot clock, the better) and when that doesn’t work, pass the ball to Will…I mean Carmelo and hope he can bail the team out (‘Melo will be dead by the All-Star break). No, Bill.  You apparently traveled back in time to the 90′s, got twists put in your hair and made it back in time for the season.

What were you thinking?

You look like one of the Kris Kross‘ kids grown up.

You look like an extra in a Geto Boys video.

You look like Prop Joe‘s illegitmate son.

Every time you step on the court, I groan.

I blame your friends and family.  If someone loved you, they’d cut your hair while you slept.

I imagine you can’t go into a barbershop because they might actually die of laughter, so you need to shave it all off and start over.

Please.

Sincerely,
A loyal but troubled Knicks fan