Movie of the Week: The Last Kiss

If you are expecting to see a more mature Garden State, then you would be correct. But by “mature”, I mean milk three months past it’s expiration date.

I can’t believe Paul Haggis (two-time Oscar winner for Best Screenplay) wrote this shit.

I mean this wasn’t the worst movie I saw this year in the theaters (this was) nor was this the most disappointing movie I saw this year (this was) but I really had high hopes for it based on the trailer and everyone involved (the aforementioned Haggis, Zach Braff, Tom Wilkinson, Blythe Danner, director Tony Goldwyn). So kudos to the guy who cut the trailer.

There was a point in the movie where it lost me. Now being an avid watcher of TV and movies, suspension of disbelief is something I’ve learned to live with. However, I refuse to accept a universe where a college girl who looks like Rachel Bilson looks across a wedding and is instantly attracted to someone who looks like Zach Braff. Not because of his witty banter or anything but is immediately stalking him at this wedding to be closer to him. I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I can accept a universe where the artificial intelligence has taken over, reduced humanity to living batteries and traps us in a simulated reality, but that scenario…that’s just bullshit.

There were so many storylines and characters that were dropped in the middle of the movie and brought back just for the sake of resolution. The actors were all good in it (except Braff sounds awkward when he’s begging forgiveness and calling someone “Baby”). Rachel Bilson was given some of the most clichéd dialogue ever. It was as if everything she said was a tagline on the poster to a romantic movie. I wonder how many times she laughed reciting those lines.

If it’s any consolation, the soundtrack (Aimee Mann, Fiona Apple, Coldplay, Cary Brothers) was pretty good except this time I already had most of the songs on my iPod (so HA! Mr. Braff). I think the only reason Zach Braff does these kinds of movies is that they will let him make a mixtape and call it a soundtrack.

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