24 Season Six: 12:00 AM – 1:00 AM

Body Count: 25 (+2)

Look like nobody is getting any tonight…

…except Vice President Psycho who has transformed into VP Ol’ Dirty Bastard with his creepy line to his assistant Lisa, “Call the media, tell them the acting president’s a dirty old man.” Gross. Lisa is running home to get her ho bag. Who wants to bet that won’t run smoothly.

Karen Hayes Isn’t Getting Any…
Because Buchanan was responsible for releasing Fayed when he was in custody before he was anybody, Karen was forced to fire him to protect President Vegetable. It was genuinely sad because Bill has had the longest tenure of any CTU boss and Jack has even had the respect to never pull his gun on him. Which leads to…

Milo Isn’t Getting Any…
Milo, who has been an employee of the government for at least seven years, got passed over (actually, not even considered) to be acting director of CTU for Nadia, who if memory serves correctly was a) under arrest and b) had her access limited due to her Muslim descent. Maybe is Milo spent more time focusing on his career and not trying to hook up with his co-workers, he might be somewhere in life. Tony waited until he was acting director to hit on Michelle. Speaking of CTU…

Chloe Isn’t Getting Any…
It was good to see the old Chloe come out during her tiff with Morris. “How about don’t arm nuclear bombs for terrorists?” As Kelso on That 70’s Show would have said…

Jack Isn’t Getting Any…
After Jack escapes Doyle, he changes location to a place that CTU can’t track him and that he can safely blow himself and Cheng up with the chip. Everything is going according to plan. Jack gets Audrey and sends her up the road (but not before doing that creepy face touching thing he’s been doing all season) and he’s about to blow the place sky high and who fucks it up…

…that’s right, Silver Spoons a.k.a. O’Doyle’s, the non-alcoholic Bauer engages the Chinese which allows them to get away with the chip. Jack’s under arrest but lo and behold, Audrey is batship crazy and is a couple of cats away from this…

Apparently, Audrey can’t withstand a 1/10th of the torture Bauer can. Who’s surprised by that.

No Bauer Moments To Remember

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