So for my five year anniversary at work, I got to select a gift and I picked this bicycle.
It was shipped and was supposed to be delivered by UPS on Friday.
That’s when the adventure begins…
I decide to work from home because when I wake up, I see this message on UPS.com:
05/18/2007 4:54 A.M. OUT FOR DELIVERY
So I sit at home, working on my shitty desktop, waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
I sit at home all day until this message comes up on the website:
05/18/2007 7:08 P.M. THE PACKAGE IS DELAYED DUE TO EMERGENCY CONDITIONS BEYOND UPS’ CONTROL
What the fuck does that even mean? It was a beautiful 70+ degree day. What “emergency conditions” were there?
So I don’t get any updates on the weekend and Monday morning. I check UPS.com periodically but no updates. So I get home and there’s a UPS slip on my door. I get upstairs and check the website and see this:
05/21/2007 3:35 P.M. THE RECEIVER WAS NOT AVAILABLE TO SIGN ON THE 2ND DELIVERY ATTEMPT. A 3RD DELIVERY ATTEMPT WILL BE MADE
2nd delivery attempt? What the hell are they trying to pull? You only get three attempts before you have to go pick up the package yourself.
So I call UPS and arrange to have it delivered Tuesday after 5 PM. Everything is straight.
UPS calls me right back and says the driver is still in the area and wants to know if I’d MEET HIM to pick up my package.
1) It’s a 35 pound package.
2) He’s the one with the fucking van.
I obviously say no and will be fine with delivery on Tuesday.
So today, I leave work early so that I will be home by 5 PM. And I wait.
I call UPS at 6:30 PM and they tell me my package should be there by 7:30 PM.
7:30 PM comes and goes.
I call back. UPS tells me packages have been delivered 11 PM (can anyone confirm this?)
I keep waiting and checking UPS.com periodically.
I get distracted by the final episode of Veronica Mars (sniff) and at about 9:40 PM, I refresh UPS.com and see this:
05/22/2007 9:24 P.M. THE RECEIVER WAS UNAVAILABLE TO SIGN ON THE 1ST DELIVERY ATTEMPT. A 2ND DELIVERY ATTEMPT WILL BE MADE
I flip out. I run down the stairs while calling UPS to check if there was a slip on my front door. There wasn’t. UPS tells me that the driver tried to deliver it and I wasn’t there. I tell her that’s not likely because I have been here waiting for almost five hours. I ask her to explain to me why the driver flat out lied. She stutters and puts me on hold. She tells me UPS will call me tomorrow morning.
I am so angry right now that I can’t think of a better word to describe it than “seething.”