Ridin’ Dirty

So after all the bullshit with UPS to get this goddamned thing, I finally took the bike out for a spin.

After spending all Saturday afternoon doing laundry and night getting my booze on for Tony’s birthday, I decided Sunday would be the day I would take the bike out for a spin (I haven’t named it yet but I’m leaning towards Ironhide because of the red and silver color scheme).

First of all, it was a BITCH to get out of the apartment. I think I expended more energy getting Ironhide (I’m trying it on for size) in and out of the apartment than I did riding the bike1. I can tell that this is going to a deterrent from future bike rides.

When I started on my journey, I realized that I didn’t tighten the handlebars and seat enough but because it took so long to get out of the apartment, I was willing to risk it.

After a couple of annoying hills, I made my way to Central Park. I brought a couple of magazines and my new iPod speakers to lay out and chill. I found one spot but it was the “quiet area” which seemed way too pretentious so I got back on Ironhide and moved on. I eventually ended up riding around the entire park once looking for a spot. It really makes you appreciate just how awesome Central Park really is…and how out of shape you really are. I gave up and just went to the Great Lawn.

I read the new GQ with Jessica Biel on the cover2, got hit in the head by a kid’s football and then headed back home when I started to fear getting a sunburn (I’m dark enough).

My knees are killing me. My ass hurts3. But once I get the handle of getting the bike in and out of the apartment, this could become a regular thing.

1: Not true
2: And on the eighth day, God came up with the idea for Jessica Biel and said “That should keep them happy for awhile” and all was good
3: Me thinks I need a new seat…or a new ass.

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