Christine, one of my five semi-faithful readers, reminded me that haven’t done this yet, let’s begin:
New shows in yellow
Sunday: (4 hours)
8:00-8:30: The Simpsons (FOX)
9:00-10:00: Desperate Housewives (ABC) – I didn’t watch this for most of last season but Nathan Fillon (Fox’s Firefly) is joining the cast, I’ll have to start watching again
9:00-10:00: Tell Me You Love Me (HBO) – If they were going to have unnecessarily explicit sex, couldn’t they find a walk-on role for a porn star or two?
10:00-11:00: Brothers and Sisters (ABC)
10:00-10:30: Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)
Monday: (4 hours)
8:00-9:00: Prison Break (FOX) – Every year I say I’ll stop watching this ridiculous show. Every year I come back.
8:00-8:30: How I Met Your Mother (CBS) – If this was on NBC, it would be a hit
8:30-9:00: Aliens in America (CW) – I keep hearing good things so i will check it out
9:00-10:00: Heroes (NBC) – They better redeem themselves from that craptastic finale
10:00-11:00: Journeyman (NBC) – I heard bad things about this but it stars Kevin McKidd (Vorenus from HBO’s Rome) so I’ll give it a chance
Tuesday: (4.5 hours)
8:00-9:00: Bones (FOX) – I think I’m the only person I know who watches this show. Pity.
8:30-9:00: Carpoolers (ABC) – If it lasts longer than Sons & Daughters, I’ll be impressed.
9:00-10:00: House (FOX) – You win, Andrea.
9:00-10:00: Reaper (CW) – The pilot was cool but it will be interesting to see if the show is good or was it just that Kevin Smith (who directed the pilot) turned a piece of shit into a silent fart
10:00-11:00: Nip/Tuck (F/X) – Last season was really hit-or-miss (a lot of missing) but the new Hollywood setting should help. Christian’s dick might fall off.
Wednesday: (5 hours)
8:00-9:00: Pushing Daisies (ABC) – If I could watch only one new show this season, this would be it. Please don’t cancel it, ABC.
9:00-10:00: Private Practice (ABC) – I know what you’re thinking and don’t worry, I want it to get canceled to but I would hate for Tim Daly to have his third canceled show on ABC Wednesday nights (Eyes and The Nine, which were better than this shit)
9:00-10:00: Bionic Woman (NBC) – The pilot was okay but Katee Sackhoff (Starbuck from Sci-Fi’s Battlestar Galactica) plays the villain. I love her. I’m allowed one guilty pleasure
10:00-11:00: Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) – Peter Krause is back on TV where he belongs.
10:00-10:30: South Park (COM)
10:30-11:00: The Sarah Silverman Program (COM)
Thursday: (5.5 hours)
8:00-8:30: My Name Is Earl (NBC) – Poison Ivy: The New Seduction to Emmy-winning actress. Way to go, Jaime Pressly.
8:00-9:00: Ugly Betty (ABC) – Sorry Smallville. You had a good run but you’ve been bumped.
8:30-9:00: The Office (NBC) – I hope the Jim/Pam thing doesn’t ruin the show
9:00-9:30: 30 Rock (NBC) – Well deserved Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series. Now hopefully it goes the way of The Office and not the way of Arrested Development (the previous two poorly-rated winners of the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series)
9:00-10:00: Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) – Please redeem this show, Shondra.
9:30-10:00: Scrubs (NBC) – Hopefully this is the last season (Sorry, Ang)
10:00-10:30: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (F/X) – The funniest show you are not watching
10:00-11:00: Big Shots (ABC) – Good idea, ABC. Put the show about guys who sleep with everything that walk and are cocky about after the two chick shows.
Friday: (1 hour)
9:00-10:00: Friday Night Lights (NBC) – Listen, you don’t have to watch it live. DVR and watch it over the weekend. JUST WATCH IT!!!
Shows I’ll Be Downloading: Weeds (SHOW), Dexter (SHOW), Chuck (NBC), Smallville (CW)
So not including shows I am going to download, that is 24 hours of television I have committed to watching.
Don’t ever ask me again why I am single.