100 Facts Follow-up: Questions On Love And Other Diseases

So after reading my 100 Facts About Sean post, my ex-pimpstress and friend from the Netherlands, Amal had a bunch of questions for me and I promised I’d answer them here:

1. Are you satisfied with life and environment? If not, what would you like to change?

I don’t know if I’d use the word “satisfied.” I don’t look around my messy room, stacks of DVDs, unironed shirts and think “This is the life.” It’s A life. That’s the problem. I don’t know what I’d change about things if I could so there’s no reason to complain.

2. If you could change the public perception of you, what would you change and what not?

I really don’t know what people think of me, so I don’t know what I’d change. Believe me, I prefer to not know what anyone thinks of me. My fragile ego couldn’t take it.

3. Why aren’t you scooping up your part of the pussy on a platter service in New York?

Who knows? I really should be getting my piece of the pie, right? I find new reasons time every night I find myself in a situation. My current favorite is “I live too far away.” Ok, I’m not really answering this. I guess I’m shy around strangers but when I finally feel comfortable, I’m not shy enough and I start blathering and effectively get “pussy” removed from Today’s Specials. And when that’s not the case, I just don’t feel like it.

4. In what way did your parents relationship influence your way of handling relationships?

They were a “How Not To” as far as relationships go. Growing up, they made me MORE affectionate towards my friends, more “huggy” I guess, to fill the lack at home. The irony is, then my mom started to go to church and she got all affectionate and I can’t reciprocate because it’s awkward to me. Go figure.

5. Are you the male version of a Bag Lady?

Am I to assume you are referring to the Erykah Badu song? If so, definitely not. I’m rather proud of the lack of baggage I’m carrying with me. I don’t have trust issues or issues with getting hurt again from previous relationships. I shed that skin a long time ago.

6. It is quite hip to be a nerd, why aren’t you cashing on this phenomenon?

I’m not a hip nerd. There are such things as being a hip nerd, I don’t know how to be it. That would require me to rein in my passion about the things I’m nerdy about – comics, TV, movies – and I can’t seem to pull it off. There is nothing more unattractive then when I start talking about Lost to some unassuming women who mentioned she watches. NOTHING. I almost have an out of body experience and start yelling to myself, “She doesn’t care about your theory about Desmond’s time loop being the key to preventing the future that Jack and Kate currently reside in.”

7. Why aren’t you moving to London? As a young American of Jamaican descendant, you would win the jackpot.

A) Because the U.S. dollar isn’t worth shit there which means I’d have to save DOUBLE the money to pull it off and B) I don’t have the kind of job skills that I can take anywhere…yet.

8. Why do you fear attention?

I don’t fear attention, I just don’t respond well to it. I never accept compliments as the truth. Perfect example, any time someone says I’ve lost weight at work, I always say, it’s just what I’m wearing today…no matter what I’m wearing. I don’t want to be forgotten but I prefer to not be noticed.

9. To quote the character Celine from Before Sunrise; what’s a problem for you?

Accepting situations as they are without seeking to change them.

10. Do you have any unordinary ideas on love and other diseases? If so, share the wealth.

I used to think I knew everything about love. I would have weekly epiphanies about love especially in the last few years. Now I just don’t think about it. I used to seek out love like it was my life’s goal. Now, I don’t miss being loved or loving another. I’ll settle for appreciation.

Any other questions?


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