100 More Facts About Sean

Since the last one was so popular and I forgot a couple, let’s do 100 more…

  1. I can’t use chopsticks.
  2. I have four tattoos.
  3. I can’t tell good stories. Like when people describe something that happens at work and it sounds interesting…I can’t do that. it always falls flat.
  4. I think I have 15-20 anecdotes that I tell over and over again because I don’t think anything else that’s happened to me or around me has been that interesting.
  5. I spend too much money on alcohol
  6. I failed my driver’s exam on the first try. The test lasted less than two minutes as I drifted into the lane of oncoming traffic as I was preparing for a left turn.
  7. I am not very good at sports. I can’t catch fly balls, I shoot basketballs awkwardly and either I can’t throw a spiral AND connect with my target.
  8. My friend Lance who went on to play college basketball once told me that you could have come out and played basketball with me and gotten really good or stayed home and played video games and read comics. Guess which I went with?
  9. My parents bought me a video camera for Christmas one year. Why? I don’t know. All I ever did with it was re-enact Wu-Tang Clan videos at my friend’s houses.
  10. I lost my virginity at 18.
  11. My mother only spanked once but it was so bad, I blacked out and have no recollection of the beating. I just woke up in bed like what happened?
  12. The reason I love England so much is it was the only non-Jamaica trip I went on as a kid (Canada doesn’t count). That and I LOVED DangerMouse as a kid.
  13. I went to my senior prom with this girl who I was friends with. We really just wanted to go to the prom. Her father picked her up at 11:30 PM on the dot and took her home which was fine because I was in pursuit of someone else.
  14. I miss one thing about each of my exes.
  15. When I was in 8th grade, I was into heavy metal. My favorite album at the time was Metallica’s …And Justice For All. I had magazine posters of various groups. I was teased by the black kids in school and the neighborhood.
  16. I like buying gifts for people.
  17. When I was in grade school, I once bought my mother these cheap earrings (but expensive for me) at a fair. She never wore them, keeping them in the original packaging. This coupled with the fact that she kept all the plants I bought her in the downstairs bathroom reminds me why I don’t like buying my mother presents.
  18. I apparently have a lot of Cancerian-typical mommy issues.
  19. I can’t swim.
  20. I almost drowned in 4th grade at a friend’s pool party. I was in an inflatable donut over the deep end and my friend thought it would be funny to run and jump into the donut and kick me out. I went straight to the bottom. Another parent pulled me out.
  21. The most I ever weighed was 207.
  22. I have never attempted to obtain a woman’s phone number at a bar, club or any other social gathering.
  23. I took two years of high school Spanish, five semesters of Spanish at NYU (you were only required to take four but i failed the competency test and was forced to take a fifth) and I still can’t maintain a conversation in Spanish beyond “Hola”, “Como estas?”, “Asi asi. Y tu?”
  24. I’m not sure if I believe in God or a celestial omnipotent being because I actually believe or because of my years of Lutheran Sunday School and Catholic school make it impossible for me NOT to believe in the existence of a divine being.
  25. I don’t however support religion. They are like different futbol teams in the same league with fans that can act like hooligans.
  26. I have over 11,000 songs on my iPod.
  27. The most tracks I have by one artist is Jay-Z with 167.
  28. I have been balding since I was 19.
  29. I think people who jaywalk with babies should have their children taken away.
  30. I think OJ is innocent but knows who did it. To do all the things they say he did that night would make him a) superhuman and b) the dumbest criminal alive. I just don’t think he was both.
  31. I get nervous around cops.
  32. The first time I shaved my head was an accident. It was the day before Senior year yearbook photos and I neglected to get a haircut so I woke my brother up at 5:30 AM to give me a haircut. He ended up cutting off all my hair except a patch in the back. I took my picture and had to shave my head to even it out. Unfortunately, bald heads were forbidden in my school and I had detention until it grew back to a reasonable length.
  33. The first album I had sex to was Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite.
  34. I wish I could be a better son but I’m too stuck in my ways.
  35. 3 or 4 years ago, my father was having a stent put in his heart and I drove him to the hospital for the surgery. Feeling the potential mortality of the situation, he chose this opportunity to tell me, “I wish you had gone to graduate school.” I’m still pissed about that.
  36. I only eat hot dogs because it gives me excuse to have ketchup.
  37. I have two groups of friends who probably won’t meet until my wedding or, more likely, my funeral.
  38. I have only smoked cigarettes twice – once when I was a little kid and we found a pack at the park we used to play at and we each took a puff and once when I went to England and got drunk and smoked 3-5 of my friend’s Marlboro Lights. I thought about smoking for the next 2 days and can see how it might be addicting.
  39. I went through this weird period in Junior year of NYU when Sarah McLachlan’s Surfacing was my favorite album (Thanks, Eva).
  40. I’ve never dated someone close to my complexion. Not by intention.
  41. I stopped reading comics in freshman and sophomore year for two reasons: 1) I couldn’t afford to take the LIRR to see my girlfriend in Queens and buy comics every week on my crappy pay and 2) I was kind of embarrassed that I read comics and hid it from her.
  42. Song vs. song, I still think Jay-Z won.
  43. On the morning of 9/11, I left my girlfriend’s house, took the bus with my headphones on. There was an announcement but I didn’t hear it because I was listening to music. I got on the E train and the train stopped and the conductor said something over the speaker and people started talking but I missed it because I was listening to music. When I got out the subway, I saw the streets were crowded and people were looking up but I didn’t notice because I was late to work. When I got to work, it was pretty empty and I didn’t have Internet access so I didn’t know what had happened until about 9:15 AM when my co-worker came in.
  44. My favorite color is red.
  45. If I drink too much Stella Artois, I start speaking in a British accent. This has become known as “Cockney Sean.”
  46. I have never cheated on a girlfriend.
  47. I suspect one girlfriend actually cheated on me, while I was definitely the victim of a couple of emotional affairs.
  48. If I could be stuck on a deserted island with one book, it would be The Complete Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson.
  49. In 8th grade during class, one of my classmates decided to dry hump his hand during Science class. I told a couple of some people and it spread like wildfire and we were all laughing at him. Someone told it was me who started saying it and, despite the best effort of my female classmates, he punched me in my chest and sent me straight to the nurse.
  50. I can deal with racism and all the other shit that comes with being a Black man…but the razor bumps are a pain in the ass.
  51. I love the words “myriad” and “delve”.
  52. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t surf the net when I get bored at work which is often.
  53. I can’t snowboard but that doesn’t stop me from trying.
  54. I miss riding on the LIRR because of all the time I had to read.
  55. I’m pro-life.
  56. I loved each of my girlfriends or at least what I understood love to be at the time I was with them.
  57. I have over 300 DVDs that I rarely, if ever, watch.
  58. When I was a kid, my brother had me intercept any mail that would piss my parents off – letters from school, parking tickets, credit card bills.
  59. The only pets I ever had were gerbils. The plan was to buy a male and female gerbil and sell the babies but Petworld gave me three male gerbils before they finally gave me a female one. Then it turned into a gerbil rape cage. I only sold one gerbil. They started to multiply quickly. There wasn’t enough food so they started eating each other. At the peak, I had 21. My room smelled of gerbil piss 24/7. My father let them into the woods when I wasn’t home…or so he said.
  60. I’m not secretive. I’m just not forthcoming with personal information unless asked direct questions. Luckily, most people are content to talk about themselves.
  61. The scar under my right eye is from a bike accident I got into when I was 13.
  62. If there was a fire in my apartment or my office, I’d be okay as long as I had my iPod.
  63. I was a prolific writer of notes in high school. I had five shoe boxes of notes: one each for notes from Jen, Eva, Tina and Elysia, and one more miscellaneous notes. I held onto to them until I was about 25 when my parents finally threw them away. I would love to read them again.
  64. I like being a “boyfriend.”
  65. That said, at this stage in my life, I can’t even imagine what kind of girl it would take to make me be a boyfriend again.
  66. I used to hate when people say “You don’t sound Black.” They don’t realize how stupid that concept is.
  67. I can tell when I like someone when I have to stop myself from buying things for them that I’d think they’d like.
  68. I can’t drink and “eat sandwiches*” in the same outing. The combination causes my brain to shut down completely.
  69. In my History class, the teacher told us on the first day that if you didn’t do the homeworks, you wouldn’t pass the class. I took it as a personal challenge. I never did the homeworks but aced all the tests and papers. I got a 78.
  70. If I could grow my hair back, I’d grow back a hi-top fade like I had in 8th grade.
  71. I’ve never gotten a flu shot. I look forward to the flu because it gives me a reason to not go to work.
  72. The last memory of my maternal grandmother is when I was 10 or 11 and at her house in Montego Bay with my Aunt Rose and she was talking to me but her patois was so thick, I caught maybe every 3rd or 4th word. I wonder what she was trying to say. It sounded important.
  73. I don’t think I exchanged more than 10 words with my maternal grandfather before he died.
  74. I used to love theorizing about love and relationships. Now, I just consigned to being as confused as everyone else.
  75. My blood type is O Positive.
  76. I don’t think I could name all 50 states.
  77. Sometimes I see people from college or high school on the street and I purposely avoid them because I don’t feel enduring the “So what’s going on with you?” part of the conversation.
  78. I am highly neophobic when it comes to food.
  79. I have a hairy back and chest. I’m not Sasquatch hairy but I still hate it.
  80. I’d shave my back and chest but a) I can’t reach my certain parts of my back, b) I’d probably slack and end up itchy all day and c) everyone knows I have a hairy chest (at least) so it would be like getting a toupee or hair plugs.
  81. Fall is my favorite season, followed by Spring.
  82. My bike got stolen once from the mall. My father and my friend’s father drove around with baseball bats and got it back.
  83. My brother thought my bike got stolen once. This little kid in the neighborhood saw me riding with my friends and this kid I knew but he didn’t yelled, “Get off your bike, Sean!” The kid ran to my house and told my brother. They drove around the neighborhood heavily armed looking for my bike until I told them it was a misunderstanding.
  84. I’ve only gotten into one real fight with my brother and it was over a camera of his I broke when I was a kid. It lasted all of 20 minutes.
  85. I have no sense of direction.
  86. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with You Can’t Do That On Television. I think that’s why I like Alanis Morissette so much.
  87. I fall asleep in the fetal position.
  88. I don’t like jelly. I eat peanut butter only sandwiches.
  89. Movies I will hold against you if you haven’t seen/hate:
    • say anything…
    • The Princess Bride
    • Before Sunrise
    • Before Sunset
    • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    • High Fidelity
  90. I once went out with a girl I liked and everything was going fine until she told me Meteor Man was one of her favorite movies.
  91. People I’ve been told I look like: Andre Braugher, Djimon Hounsou, Steve Harris (from The Practice), Ernest Thomas (Raj from What’s Happening).
  92. I don’t agree with any of them.
  93. I have a problem hitting “Send” on e-mails before re-reading what I wrote.
  94. The night John Starks shot 2-18 from the field in Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals was one of the saddest nights of my life. I turned off the TV before the game ended so i didn’t have to see the celebration and tried to make myself go to sleep.
  95. I was a Boy Scout for a couple of years. My father pulled me out because he thought someone was dressed as a Ku Klux Klan member at the Halloween party. I didn’t find out about this until years after the fact. If he had told me, I would have informed him that it was just someone dressed as a ghost.
  96. My first job was at Hicks Nurseries. I helped load packages into cars amongst other dirty work. We frequently received tips for our work. The highlight of my tenure as my best friend mother showed up and I loaded eight bags of manure into her Pathfinder on a hot ass day. She gave fifty cents as a tip. It was the cheapest tip I received in the many months I worked there.
  97. I always need to have a cover on me in bed, preferably my comforter. If it’s too hot, I’ll make my room cold enough to compensate.
  98. I was so freaked out after The Blair Witch Project that I didn’t sleep the night I saw it and I was flying to Miami the next day at 7 AM. I stayed up talking to Tara on AIM who I saw the movie with for as long as she’d stay awake.
  99. If I talk to someone with a British accent too long, I start speaking in one as well.
  100. I don’t know if I act like a prototypical Cancer because I am a prototypical Cancer or because I’ve read enough horoscope books to know how a prototypical Cancer acts.

And that is another 100. I don’t think I’ll be doing this again. Otherwise, I’ll post something I’ll regret.

* How I Met Your Mother reference

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4 thoughts on “100 More Facts About Sean

  1. I also dislike Jelly and ate Peanut butter-only sandwiches 1st-7th grade and only strayed on “Pizza Friday” so you’re in good company…

  2. 1 i suck at it too
    6 try twice…
    12 i generally had a crappy time in england
    19 how stereotypical 😀
    31 who doesn’t? my cousin is an LAPD officer and i was intimidated by him when i ran into him at a dodger game. he was in full uniform.
    33 made me laugh.
    45 after about a weak in australia i started picking up the accent
    46 i have, but at the time i convinced myself it didn’t count… and definitely done the emotional thing too
    53 my brothers never take me when they go
    63 notes got me through the boredom of a lot of meetings and classes in college, i still have some of them. they’re entertaining.
    64 😀
    66 i’ve told someone he didn’t sound like he was from east l.a., but that’s different than “sounding mexican” [but i know linguists who would make a distinction]
    76 my sister and i did this on a road trip. we forgot arkansas.
    89 i think you’ll have to hold something against me. haven’t seen before sunrise or before sunset.

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