Kill Count: Jack – 2; Tony – 4 (!)
The Resurrection of Agent Freckles
So somehow Jack told Bill and Chloe where to find Agent Freckles. When they dig her up she’s not breathing but they give her the Pulp Fiction Special and she’s back to life. Bill and Chloe tell Freckles about the plan and that the FBI has been compromised and she goes along with it. I’m sorry. Last time I checked, wasn’t Freckles the only one with any authority? What were Bill and Chloe going to do if she said “Screw You Guys, I’ma Going Home“? Shoot her? I guess we’ll never know.
Emerson Loves Tony; Tony Loves ?
Meanwhile in the Matobo Express, Emerson explains how Robocop was a part of the plan to fake Tony’s death. That he purposely missed the jugular. It sounds dumber and dumber the more they talk about it. Once Emerson gets out of the car, he knows something is up and grabs Jack’s gun (mistake #1) and Jack (mistake #2). Tony quickly shoots Adam Levine. Emerson thinks Tony is double-crossing him for the diamonds but Tony’s doing it because he has a heart of Latino gold and shoot Emerson in the neck. Tony is really broken up about shooting Emerson. Apparently they were best friends. Emerson listened to Tony. He knew Tony like two marshmallows in his hot cocoa and only from his Cubs mug. i swear I thought he was going to kiss him goodbye. R.I.P.Emerson. Jack is Tony’s real brother-from-another-mother.
NPH Sr, Chloe and Agent Freckles show up. jack convinces the Matobo’s to let Dubaku take them into custody and they’ll protect them. As ridiculous as a plan this is, they go with it mostly because the wife feels bad she didn’t let them get killed the first time in the panic room. Chloe wires Matobo. Agent Freckles yells at Jack about not letting her in on the plan when what she is really saying is, “Master Yoda, will you teach me?”
Dubaku’s men come from Matobo. They try to kill Tony but jack blasts one of them with the biggest sniper rifle I’ve ever seen. It was like a bazooka on his shoulder (Ok, I’m exaggerating). Despite the fact that Tony and jack got the drop on them, they “let” them drive off with Matobo and his wife. If there’s one problem with this season, it’s the fact that the villains aren’t MORE suspicious.
Madame President and Dubaku continue to play chicken with American lives. When she refuses to call off the troops in Not-Darfur, Dubaku crashes two planes in view of the White House so the President can see. Considering they just got the CIP device, that was a pretty skilled move. She meets with her cabinet and decides that she’s still going along with the attack in non-Darfur even though a) everyone’s against it and b) without Matobo, the attack is untenable. I’d understand if this was Presidents Palmer and they knew Jack Bauer was on the job. But Madame President is relying on Jeff who thinks finding Agent Freckles is the top priority. The warden from The Shawhank Redemption thinks the First Husband might be able to sway her but he’s…busy (this eliminates him from the “Have You been Compromised” pool).
First Husband is still frozen like Pinocchio before he was given life and Secret Service Agent Patrick Bateman kills Samantha and puts Henry’s fingerprints on the murder weapon. Henry starts to regain feeling in his hands. As he’s about to hung, Henry forces himself and the Secret Service Agent over the banister and the SSA psycho is dead. The problem is: it still kinda looks like Henry killed Samantha.