Consolation Prizes #6: Arguments

I decided that instead of harping on how it sucks to be single, I’m going to highlight to beautiful things about being single.*  Now I’m not daft, I realize that most of these reasons are going to be variations of the same underlying theme, “no longer having to compromise”, but let me have my fun.

#6 Arguments

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Anyone who knows me knows I love a good argument especially when I’m right which 90% of the time (the other 10% I chalk up to draws or”agree to disagree”). But there are some fights that I will never miss having.

They include but are not excluded to:

  • The “Dirty Socks” argument – anything related to your cleanliness
  • The “Why didn’t you call?” argument
  • The “Why did you leave the toilet seat up?” argument
  • The “Why aren’t you ready yet?” argument
  • The “I don’t like your friend(s)” argument
  • The “Why do you always _____?” argument – anything related to a behavior that your partner has decided to not just accept about you but seek to acknowledge and perhaps (foolishly) modify. The timing for this argument is always almost awful
  • The “Your Mom/Dad/Nana/maid doesn’t like me” argument
  • The “Nothing” argument – my favorite because you don’t even know what you did but you know you’re fucked

Yes, I concede that most of these arguments are just gateways into more serious conversations about your relationship with your partner and/or your own personal growth.

But who actually enjoys having them?


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