My Five Stages of Girl Scout Cookies

My boss came to my desk and asked me if I wanted any Girl Scout cookies as I am usually the first to order.  I told her only two boxes this time (as I have already polished off four boxes of Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies this year).  She laughed noting that she knows how this story is going to end.  She’s right.  I do go through stages when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies

  1. Planning: When I get my order of cookies (usually three boxes), I make a plan in my mind.  “Ok, we’ll leave two boxes here and bring one box home.” The  I’ll take the first bite.  For the record, I haven’t brought home a box of Girl Scout cookies in years but I ALWAYS intend to.
  2. Embarrassment: When I finish the first sleeve of cookies, I can’t help but get worried.  I never realize how fast I’m flying through them.  Depending on the time of day, this stage lasts 10-30 minutes.  The worst is when I get my order right before lunch.
  3. Resistance: The first sleeve is done and I refuse to open the second sleeve.  I know what will happen if I get started on the second sleeve.  The damn will burst.  I’ll start eating them like a machine whose sole purpose in life was to eliminate Girl Scout Cookies in a 2 foot radius.  Depending on the time of day, this stage lasts 10-30 minutes
  4. Gluttony: Self-explanatory.  I don’t care anymore.  I’m eating cookies at a rate of 3 per minute.  If someone walks by my desk  and asks for one, I look at them like they just asked Gollum to hand over One Ring.
  5. Fiend: I’ve finished all my cookies in maybe two, three days tops.  At some point, I go to the person who I ordered from and ask, “Did anyone not pick up/pay for their Do-Si-Dos?”  I ALWAYS do this and don’t realize it.

I have a problem.

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2 thoughts on “My Five Stages of Girl Scout Cookies

  1. this was me yesterday. i ordered two boxes of lemon chalet cremes but i was able to stop myself mid-sleeve. i only ordered one box last fall so when my 2nd connect came through (yes i have a fall connect and a spring connect) i made sure to order more. now i just have to pace myself.

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