Holdin’ On, Ten Years Gone

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My very first post on March 3, 2001 was a quote from my friend Kristy about R&B singer, Carl Thomas: “he looks like…an ewok.” Not the most promising of starts.

I honestly can’t remember what inspired me to start blogging (it wasn’t even called blogging 2001). I’m sure I knew somebody on the Okayplayer message boards who was doing it and thought that it was a great idea. My administrative assistant job back then left me with a lot of free, unsupervised time so I taught myself basic HTML. I proudly shared the link with my fellow Okayplayers, friends from college and anyone who I could think of. I really thought my opinion on anything was so important that it needed its own forum.

The blog went through phases just like it’s author. When all I cared about was watching movies, listening to hip-hop and pictures of attractive women, so did he. When I was newly single and depressed, so was he. When I became obsessed with Lost and 24, so was he (unfortunate because they both ended a little disappointingly).

I’ve been torturing myself by re-reading some of my old posts. Here are some of my takeaways:

  • I don’t think I’m a very good writer now but after reading some of the stuff I wrote when I was I 23, I should stop being so hard on myself. I’m actually embarrassed in some respects. It was like I had this bright idea when I was drinking, slurred it into a tape recorder and wrote it exactly as I said it. I can’t believe I found several instances of me actually ending sentences with “dawg.”
  • It’s hard to keep track of because I didn’t start tagging posts until May 2005 and I usually did weeks worth of films in one posts but I think it’s safe to say that I’ve “reviewed” about more than 300 films.
  • There weren’t subjects/titles to my posts until July 2003 because for whatever reason, Blogger didn’t support that. Prior to that, most of my posts are things that I would have posts to Twitter or to my Tumblr page.
  • I talked more about comics and music than I do today. Not that I love them less today (I definitely spend less money on them) but, when I was younger, I thought it was more important to share these things. I was very much Rob from High Fidelity. I thought what media I consumed is who I was as a person.
  • The longer my blog went on, the more sensitive I became to who was reading it. When ex-girlfriends and co-workers started commenting, it made me very self-conscious.

I can think of a handful of people who still read this which means I’m kinda talking to myself here but I think that’s okay. A few years back, I thought the best thing about having this blog would be able to look back and see what my opinions were years ago. Looking back and seeing how silly I was in some cases and prescient in others, it’s easier for me to say to myself that I’ve changed for the better. 2001 Sean would never believe that 2011 Sean now lives in Los Angeles, has a wonderful girlfriend who he loves and that, in many ways, he’s starting over. I hope he would think that’s awesome.  I also hope the word “Dawg” wouldn’t be used.

Anyway, if you are reading, thanks for sticking with me. I’ll try to keep it interesting.

Special shout-outs to Erwin who’s the only person I can think of who’s been reading my blog from the beginning and to Cindy and Sheila for always giving me ideas for things to write about when I’m going through dry spells.

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